Hello from th ewest
Posted: July 24th, 2015, 2:16 pm
Found the courage to register today. I'm 49, male, and for the sake of argument, might have an issue or two...
The alcohol and drug thing goes back to age 15. I even went through the aversion therapy to stop drinking, Raleigh Hills hospital, before I had my drivers licence. Suicide attempt at 26 yrs old, more drug/alcohol treatment centers than Motley Crue has been trough. Always had sleeping disorders. I slept, but was still aware of the room and everything going on in the house.
I'm 49 now. Never missed a days work in 20 yrs. The addiction got the best of me one day. I lost that job, and went into a downhill spiral.
Two weeks later, I wake up in a hospital under suicide watch. Diagnosed with drug addiction (huh, really?) and a new one....Bi-Polar.
I liked that, as it was something new and different.
Honestly, one drug saved my life. Thats called seraquil. When I take that, I sleep like a normal human! Worked great from the first small sliver they gave me. I built myself up from 170 lbs up to 210 lbs through work and very mild testesterone abuse....I mean, not abuse, but not missing a dose (all legally prescribed). I really dont do anything in moderation. Oh, yea..suboxone. I've cut down, but I wont give it up.I believe it numbs me enough to deal with life.
Is it right, or perfect? I dont think so. Is it better than I've ever been? For sure.
You'll have to excuse me for this getting long. Its a small snapshot of who I am, and where I've been.
The secret I dont want anyone to know? I'm not depressed. I'm just not as thrilled to be alive as most suicide survivors claim to be.
THANK YOU for being here. You peopel are incredible.
The alcohol and drug thing goes back to age 15. I even went through the aversion therapy to stop drinking, Raleigh Hills hospital, before I had my drivers licence. Suicide attempt at 26 yrs old, more drug/alcohol treatment centers than Motley Crue has been trough. Always had sleeping disorders. I slept, but was still aware of the room and everything going on in the house.
I'm 49 now. Never missed a days work in 20 yrs. The addiction got the best of me one day. I lost that job, and went into a downhill spiral.
Two weeks later, I wake up in a hospital under suicide watch. Diagnosed with drug addiction (huh, really?) and a new one....Bi-Polar.
I liked that, as it was something new and different.
Honestly, one drug saved my life. Thats called seraquil. When I take that, I sleep like a normal human! Worked great from the first small sliver they gave me. I built myself up from 170 lbs up to 210 lbs through work and very mild testesterone abuse....I mean, not abuse, but not missing a dose (all legally prescribed). I really dont do anything in moderation. Oh, yea..suboxone. I've cut down, but I wont give it up.I believe it numbs me enough to deal with life.
Is it right, or perfect? I dont think so. Is it better than I've ever been? For sure.
You'll have to excuse me for this getting long. Its a small snapshot of who I am, and where I've been.
The secret I dont want anyone to know? I'm not depressed. I'm just not as thrilled to be alive as most suicide survivors claim to be.
THANK YOU for being here. You peopel are incredible.