YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi,
I have anxiety and depression sometimes. I'm a bit tired of life some days. These days most days. I seem to have fucked up a lot. I don't know how to fix things.
I feel like it's easy for people to be unkind to me and wonder what I'm doing to provoke that. Is that a normal symptom? I try to keep to myself.

Hey bridgetbones,

Around here it's very normal and I struggle with similar issues myself. I think my depression is a natural response to constantly worrying about past, present and future fuck ups. I simply assume I'm going to fuck up, get fucked over and that it's just easier for everyone if I avoid all of you.

For me it's been helpful to listen to this podcast, because apparently everyone Paul interviews think they are or used to be fuck ups too. For me it was a beginning to be exposed to how many people struggle with life and very slowly I began questioning the different aspects of my anxiety. I am nowhere near fixed, but I am a little better, than I used to be.

The show preaching getting out of your comfort zone and getting help, but trying to imagine changing or getting help can be quite scary, if so I just recommend you keep listening to the show, continue practicing opening up a little here and there.

Welcome and all that.

Hi BridgetBones.

I am struggling too with feeling like I've fucked many things up. I've lost a lot of relationships, romantic and friendship based, and I constantly am asking myself what I did wrong. You are among friends, and the many different outlooks here and in the podcast may help. The podcast has helped me, learning that there is such a thing as Love Avoidance and how that often manifests seems to fit my partners.

Be kind to yourself.

I think that's totally normal. (Well, maybe not normal...probably none of us are normal...but not uncommon at least. ) I have an obsessive thought that's constantly running through my head: "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done." As if I can atone for whatever the fuck it was I did, then life will be better.