Hello! Im new, from New York

[Venus_Evolving]

Hello everyone. I am 32 year old female mother of a little girl. I have been listening to the podcast for the past couple weeks. It has helped me immensely to hear that other people have thoughts like I have. Its hard to summarize my life in a paragraph and say all that I've been through, but I will try a little. I am the daughter of a single mother, who had addiction to drugs and alchohol. As a result I grew up with, without and with her again. She spiraled in and out of addiction, and I lived with family or friends of hers. My mother has since passed away when I was 18, and she was 42...from the AIDS Virus, after neglecting her health, and succumbing to her addictions. I also never knew my father. I endured emotional and physical abuse at her hand, and at the age of 32 I'm only now realizing just how deep the damage was, as I struggle to connect with people, have a string of bad relationships, and always feel like a total failure everywhere else. My daughter is probably the only thing keeping me together and at times, I wish I could really lose control and never have to worry about anything again.

On a positive note, I have started therapy, about four sessions in, and it is really nice to have someone who will listen to things that I mostly keep in my head. I haven't been totally forthcoming to her yet, but I'm happy that I'm putting myself first for a change after years of worrying about others.

I just want to say, how wonderful it feels to have discovered a community of others who struggle, and now I dont feel that what I am feeling is so strange after all.

[Murphy]

Welcome!

Glad your therapy is going well so far!