YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello all thanks for allowing me in ... Im 43 father of 4 ,,, my kids are my motivation to keep on keeping on ... For lack of a better phrase rapid cycling manic depressive would be a pretty accurate way to describe my mental state. Did the pharmacological pill circuit for about 8 years through out my 20's always with the same end result. The pills stop working after a while and the cycle starts all over with the horrible sensation of failure and defeat, back at the bottom of the mountain looking up. Self medicated with amphetamines for around 25 years stopped about 7 years ago...... restarted using amphetamines about 6 months ago. I have a little more control with mental chaos on street drugs i take it like i would a prescription daily, I work in aerospace 60 to 70 hours a week 6 days at a time. Life seems to get harder to deal with the older I get and the good moments seem fewer and farther between..... So Im still swimming and will continue to do so, when I can swim no more Ill float. My hope is that Ill find some help here, Ive always been great at helping other people get through rough times and that gives me some peace of mind.... I dont have a support system have no one that I discuss these mental issues with. Painting and drawing are my therapy ..... So that me thanks
Donald (mental art)

Wow, thanks for sharing! You have a lot going on and it sounds like you are just doing your best to survive with your bipolar disorder. I hope you'll gain some insight here and find a way to manage things that serves you and your kids in the healthiest way possible. If therapy and prescription meds haven't worked in the past, that doesn't mean they won't work now. If you're ready now, I encourage you to go back. Sometimes it just takes a fresh set of eyes and ears to really engage you toward healing. I'm glad you're here and seeking. That's so important!