YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

My parents were part of the WWII generation where no one discussed anything, never showed affection, and children were to be seen and not heard. My father ruled out of fear because he suffered from PTSD and depression, he also sexually and emotionally abused my sister and I. My mother never knew anything and she was never told. She came with her own shit co-dependence and enmeshment with me. I started having abandonment issues in kindergarten and I also found that I loved playing dress up being the princess('my survival skill) and as I got older they turned into panic attacks in middle school. I was afraid of everything that I never did anything. Med's weren't easily available back then, I am in my 50's.
So, l kept my life very small so I could control it. I met my now former spouse, boy neither he nor I new what going to happen. I did get on meds finally at age 32. I have 2 children both who suffer from a anxiety one 26 and 23 and for right now they choose not to take the medication and that is their choice for now. I am currently in therapy for PTSD and Boderline Personality Disorder and still taking meds. I also work full time and sometimes that is my saving grace.

One more thing please tell someone you are being abused. I just found out 4 years ago my siste r was too. The ends we will go to carry shame. NO MORE!!!!!

Aaaaay 2ndgenfuckup,

I'm a 3rdgenfuckup

(Trigger warning)

My grandfather suffered psychasthenia (shell-shock) in the Pacific; I pulled his war record. He was discharged and came back home to get drunk and beat his family before dying from alcohol related complications. My dad kept getting sent to hospital from the beatings. I still can't believe the general handling (or non-handling) of domestic violence in that era.

Or any era I should say; there's still a long way to go.

I've inherited the intensity and hyper-vigilance, amongst all the other shit, from growing up in a siege household.

I caught it relatively early and have been in treatment ever since.

I just wanted to reach out and congratulate you and say welcome. I wish for you, your sister and your children the help and support you need.

You are a survivor!

You are an inspiration!

You have lived through your own war and you are coping in your own best way!

We all mess up so much.

You have made a lemon merangue pie out of lemons and im so happy you are here!

Welcome!

There you go! Use your words. We're only as sick as our secrets.

honestly i think we are in the best generation