YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi everyone! This podcast has been helping me through a lot of tough times. I emailed Paul about finding support groups around me, and sent him some of my poems, he mentioned I should share on the forum! So here I am these spoken words have been helping me find a way to express a lot of what I feel, so here's one that kindof introduces me:
Paige

is my name

I have no claim

to fame.

I am twenty five

very much alive,

but drowning

in my mind

with thoughts

so deep

they suffocate me

when I try to speak

or try to sleep…

it makes me feel weak.

To fight back

at my feelings

I wear a thick

“feeling-proof”

shield

made with jokes, confidence, ambition…

all emotions

concealed.

Truth is,

I’ve got pain

that’s unhealed.

Writing

poetry

this way

is a platform

I’m trying out

to say:

Hello ,

this is me.

I may

walk alongside you

every day

and play

pretend.

I am a registered nurse

so for work

I’ll don on

a glove

caring for people

you love.

Emergency and Intensive care

are the specialties

you’ll find me

they are places

I can be

completely in tune

with my patient’s repair

ignore my own despair;

my patients come first

and that is a blessing

at work.

But, it can be a curse

putting other people

first.

For when I am home

only then,

when I’m alone

do I transcend

into a place

I wish

I could erase

deep in my mind

where I always find

feelings that try

to drown me.

In the deep, dark

water of my mind

I swim around

so inclined

to overthink

feelings that

remind

me of moments

through my life

that made me feel

shame,

alone,

afraid,

disowned,

ugly

dumb

worthless

but even worse-

numb.

There is much more

to me

than my darkness

you’ll see,

I’m more

than what I do

for a living

I’m more

than the fake smile

on my face

more than

a female

or a

race.

So I will write

lots of stories

to show you inside

the thoughts

I’ve always before

tried to hide.

I hope

if I do

open my mind

to let you in

I’d finally

begin

to set myself free

through my

transparency.

Thank you for

listening

to me.

Hi, Paige!

Welcome, and thank you for sharing.

You're not alone in your feelings.

I look forward to reading more of your poems.

rivergirl

Hello Paige,

I have nothing but respect for nurses. They were there for both of my parents when we needed them.
Sure, it might be "just a job", but I think it takes a a lot of concern and dedication, and I'm sure it isn't easy.

And nurses are often the unsung heroes,and have a better understanding of the patients's condition and needs than many of the doctors...

Regards

Snoringdog