YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello new friends,

I'm choosing not to use my real first name here, so you can just call me Confused.

I'm new to the forum and have been a TMIHH listener for some bunch of years. I've struggled with depression and have compulsively eaten sugar to escape for as far back as I remember (Ben & Jerry's The Tonight Dough is my fave). I discovered in high school I could put a pause on the struggle when I binge drank, so I did that for a while until it stopped working for me. I'm 30 now and have been sober for 2+ years and working on my yuck stuff in therapy for 5 years.

My therapist tells me I show all the signs of Trauma. I've identified my relationship with my mom as a source of a lot of confusion and stress (real lack of boundaries, maybe covert incest? not sure), but I have not pinpointed any specific experiences as being the source of my Trauma. I'm trying to be patient and just focus on healing, and not the "WHY???"

*TRIGGER WARNING*
I also received confirmation recently that my estranged father was/is an active, violent pedophile whose victims included other estranged family members and probably me as a very young baby, before I could possibly remember.

I have so many questions. Again, I'm trying to be patient with my healing. And one way to do that - I've been told - is to develop a support network. So this place seems perfect (even if it is slow) and somewhere I can learn.

So hi

Welcome to the forum Confused.
Glad to hear you're sober and trying to work through your issues and heal. It isn't a very active board but feel free to post there are a few people that come through here.

Hello U.C. and welcome!

I'm relatively new to the boards and have been listening to the MIHH and Hilarious World for a couple of months. Big help during an extremely anxious and depressed time for me.

Yes, not much action here, though I'm trying to contribute....

Maybe everyone's moved to FB although no in-depth postings there either.
And don't know what was happening here a couple of years back...

"Most users ever online was 671 on July 21st, 2017, 8:11 am"

That was about a month before the solar eclipse... maybe a connection?

Anyhow, we're here!

Hey U.C., definitely can relate to trying to give the "why" of things a break. It's tough, I think naturally I've always wanted an answer, maybe thinking that it would provide some level of reassurance, or speed things up. In the past few months I've made some steps in identifying some of my own childhood trauma, and it does provide some clarity for sure and helps shape my treatment, but I've also started to find some comfort in embracing modes of work that just generally provide healing. Glad you're here!
Ben