YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

my name is scott, im 29 years old and i live in des moines Iowa. ive had depression/anxiety and anger for as long as i can remember. ive been on many different meds (both Dr and self prescribed). i have a deep fear of failure and an even deeper fear of success. im an addictive person. i have trouble making decisions. my self esteem is like a roller coaster. winter makes all my symptoms worse so living in the midwest is very difficult.

i look forward to helping each other and having some laughs along the way.

Scott,
Welcome to the site! Are you treating your addiction? My shrink refused to treat my depression until I gave up drugs and alcohol, because that usually needs to be addressed first. When addiction and depression are mixed together it's impossible to sort what's what. Thanks for opening up.

Paul

thanks Paul. I'm not sober if that's what you mean by treating my addiction. i generally tend to manage it pretty well though. its booze, porn, and pot for me. i have the first two fairly under control. the third one helps me feel more like i did before meds... i miss elements of my pre-medicated artistic self if that makes any sense. i know ill have to give it up eventually if i wanna be completely sober but i guess I'm not ready yet. Is my therapist shitty if she doesn't say i should stop?

Please tell me Glenn Beck left FOX to join the 2012 Martin Campaign.

Scott,
I have no idea whether your therapist is any good or not. I just know depression can't be treated until addiction is addressed. Whether or not you're addicted to something is a decision only you can make. Just know that if that day comes, there is help for that. I spun my wheels for three years mixing meds and addiction. Once I sobered up, they worked a thousand times better. Whatever you do, I wish you luck and encourage you to continue seeking help. The worst thing we can do is try to solve it ourselves. Trying on our own to cure our depression or addiction is like asking the enemy how to defeat the enemy. The intel will look good on the surface but be a ticking bomb underneath.

Richard Martin is very sad about the departure of Glenn Beck. There is a sadness to his bunker shots.

paul, do you believe in the idea that a person has to hit rock bottom first or is that just a way of postponing treatment? one of my biggest problems is that when i feel good after a long time of feeling bad, i think im fine... until i feel bad again. how do we ever know when we're truly better?



i heard Rep Martin was boycotting his country club due to their "electric carts only" rule

Darwin,
I'm so sorry I haven't replied to your email before now. It somehow slipped through the cracks. I just now noticed it. I don't think people have to hit rock bottom, but some might have to to overcome whatever mental defenses they have against getting help.

Richard Martin is okay with using electric golf carts, as long as it can be proved that their charge was created by coal.

Paul

Hey, Darwin! I totally relate to what you said about fearing failure and fearing success. I took decades to start realizing I am always sabotaging myself because I fear success, and that I am my worst enemy. If you find a way out of this eternal and infernal loop, please let me know. I'll do the same here.