YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi, I just heard Paul Gilmartin's podcast and I knew immediately I had to come and talk about my experiences.

I've had depression/anxiety related issues for about 10 or so years now, at least that I've really noticed. It started to develop fully in my freshman year of high school. It was over a boy . It quickly grew after that to everything else I hated about myself and the way people treated me. I was always overweight. I was incessantly teased all throughout school, except it stopped in high school to a general dislike rather than in-your-face insults. I ate and ate to make myself feel better, isolated myself, and had a cutting phase. It was the worst four years of my life.

It didn't get much better in college and when I had my first, full-blown panic attack I knew I needed help. The first counselor I ever had was the best counselor in the world to me. She was outgoing, friendly, sweetest person ever. She had a warm feeling that made me feel safe and like things were going to be ok after I talked to her. After 3 and half years, she abruptly said there was nothing more she could teach and it was time for me to move on. I was ok at first because I felt better, but then I was heartbroken. I went into a relapse and honestly I haven't been the same ever since. I've had two more counselors since then and different meds but I still don't feel the same. Due to crazy insurance changes and circumstances, I haven't had a counselor for longer than 8 months or so maybe that's part of it.

My depression/anxiety issues stem from insecurity and low-self esteem. My extremely passive-agressive, blame everyone but not yourself, family triggers it too. I was diagnosed with dysthymia and general anxiety disorder. I've always thought I had atypical depression because I'm highly sensitive and my mood depends on what happens or what I perceive to be negative situations. But dysthymia sounds like me.

Sorry this was so long! Thanks for making this podcast

welcome! panic attacks are the worst. i am thankful to not have had one for a couple of years now.

i hear that a major component of therapy is learning to form strong, healthy relationships by doing just that with the therapist. so, that sucks that you can't stick with one.

Pepsi107,

Welcome! Thanks for opening up. As you know, its the best place to start. I hope you find the help you're looking for. Don't give up hope. We CAN live healthy fulfilling lives if we make the treatment of our disorders a priority in our lives. It took me a half-dozen shrinks and a dozen different meds to find what worked. And I had to address my addictions and get help for them on a group level, with people who were just like me. Don't underestimate the healing power of a group of committed people who suffer from the same ailments. I wish you luck.

Paul

pepsi107 wrote:Hi, I just heard Paul Gilmartin's podcast and I knew immediately I had to come and talk about my experiences.

I've had depression/anxiety related issues for about 10 or so years now, at least that I've really noticed. It started to develop fully in my freshman year of high school. It was over a boy . It quickly grew after that to everything else I hated about myself and the way people treated me. I was always overweight. I was incessantly teased all throughout school, except it stopped in high school to a general dislike rather than in-your-face insults. I ate and ate to make myself feel better, isolated myself, and had a cutting phase. It was the worst four years of my life.

It didn't get much better in college and when I had my first, full-blown panic attack I knew I needed help. The first counselor I ever had was the best counselor in the world to me. She was outgoing, friendly, sweetest person ever. She had a warm feeling that made me feel safe and like things were going to be ok after I talked to her. After 3 and half years, she abruptly said there was nothing more she could teach and it was time for me to move on. I was ok at first because I felt better, but then I was heartbroken. I went into a relapse and honestly I haven't been the same ever since. I've had two more counselors since then and different meds but I still don't feel the same. Due to crazy insurance changes and circumstances, I haven't had a counselor for longer than 8 months or so maybe that's part of it.

My depression/anxiety issues stem from insecurity and low-self esteem. My extremely passive-agressive, blame everyone but not yourself, family triggers it too. I was diagnosed with dysthymia and general anxiety disorder. I've always thought I had atypical depression because I'm highly sensitive and my mood depends on what happens or what I perceive to be negative situations. But dysthymia sounds like me.

Sorry this was so long! Thanks for making this podcast

Thanks for Sharing Pepsi, and Welcome!!