YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hey,

I'm a comedian and sketch performer on my good days and an exhausted, whinging fuck-up on my worst (or at least that's how it feels)

I'm in my early 30s and in the last few years or so I've finally started to deal with my depression and anxiety (Social and General).

I was always a weird, nervous kid, but I'm pretty decent and masking it with a friendly attitude and people pleasing. I'm terrified of making mistakes which has meant I haven't accomplished a lot of the things I feel like I should at this age. I also have a really hard time trusting people. I have this weird thing where its hard for me to believe that people won't just "find me out" for being boring or weird that makes it really hard for me to let in my friends and not drive them away

I'm also really jealous of people. Not in a way that I think they got things that I deserved (I really don't feel like I deserve much) but that they seem to be better, smarter, more comfortable with themselves and a million times more attractive then me.

I'm going back to therapy on Monday and am going to see about exposure therapy.

Thanks for listening (reading?)

Hey Mokey, glad you're here. I'm not a comedian or a performer at all, but otherwise I could cut-and-paste your intro into mine. Sounds like you're on a good path with taking things seriously and starting therapy. Well done. I don't know much about exposure therapy. If you get a chance, let us know what that's like.

Mokey,
A belated welcome to the forum! Boy do I relate to your feelings. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people. I find the best zone to be in is when I feel content being one of many. My ego hates that, but my soul loves it.

Paul