YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hey I'm new to this fourm and you should know that I can't spell. I am sixteen and have been dealing with depression and anxiety disorder for about a year and a half. Every year I've made a huge improvement but it's a few months from my birthday and I seem to have slid and hit an extra rough patch so I thought being a part of this would be a step so I can celebrate my seventeenth without feeling too guilty.

I started developing it after an injury tanked my sprinting career when I was 15. I lied and faked my way through a year which is stupid I know, but I used to be a mess when I was a kid (like 5-11) and because of that my Dad got angry and hurt and me physically and mentally. I just didn't want that to happen again. But halfway though 16 I couldn't do it anymore. So I went to see a therapist and she diagnosed me properly, this was about three months ago. The problem is my parents won't let me take medication and now they've become angry at my therapist for suggesting this so I can't see her anymore. I've been doing okay because I have awesome friends but they don't deal with anything like this and I'm scared they'll get sick of me being sad sometimes and will leave because they'll finally see how much of myself I've lost. It's been getting worse and I don't want to hurt my friends or family. I am in charge of raising my sister because my Dad lives in another country now and my mom is always busy with work so I need to deal with this fast. I'll never forgive myself if I affect my little sister.

How did you guys tell your parents what was going on and what was their reaction? And do you think there's anything I could say to them to make the understand?

You are in a world of sh*t, and your parents, because of their limitations, are letting you down.

Please know it gets better. Childhood sucks because society forces you to be artificially incapable. At 18 you can emancipate, and nothing in the world is worse than being artificially completely incapable and dependent.

heart wrote:I'll never forgive myself if I affect my little sister.

I don't want to sound trite, but your personal success at emancipating yourself at 18 and celebrating your own independence is the very best gift you can give your little sister.

I wish I had better advice to give, but at least you should know the truth that things improve. Please take care, all the best, we are all cheering for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Heart, I think it's really good that you're reaching out for help and I would encourage you to keep doing so. Do you see any kind of a doctor on a regular basis? I don't know all the ins and outs of the law, but depending on where you live you may have the right to confidential health care way, way before your 18th birthday (like 14 I think). It's worth looking into. Perhaps there is a teacher you trust or a school counselor who could help you look into what your options are for dealing with your situation? Let us know what you find out. I'm sure there are other people who have similar questions and need answers.

Hello heart, it is Manuel_Moe_G again.

I have been thinking since yesterday about what I wrote. I will let it stand, because it is humane and factually correct, but I should stress that "dare i say it"'s advice is probably a better place to start - not so drastic.

From this MentalPod board - some places to get help for people with limited resources:

• Help for little or no money
• Best Insurance Companies/Types for Mental Health Care
• Links for More Mental Health Info/Suicide Hotlines

Emancipating sounded really tempting. It feels like shit when my parents sort of sneer at my problems but I'm leaving for university soon anyway. I think I'll just apply to one in another country rather than emancipate myself. I don't think they intend to hurt me I guess they just have a lot to deal with and don't need more on my plate. I think they are just uneducated about mental illness and only know the stereotypes. Plus my insurance only covers in-patient mental health care so they've had to pay everything themselves and I am grateful for that.

Thank you so much for you kindness and your advise and suggestions. This forum is really awesome. I looked at the options for people who are dead broke, and I looked online and found a non profit group that hosts a group therapy deal in my neighborhood by calling a mental help hotline which I found on google. The hotlines are really useful because they give you help specific to your location and situation. The group thing is really basic but it helps even though I've only been to one meeting. think just being with a group of people talking about these problems openly, without the stigma I was raised with makes me feel like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. And the most awesome thing happened, a girl in my class was there and she told me she had been going there for three months.

It made me feel so un-alone (you can tell I'm failing English) which is what the podcast and this forum makes me feel. That can make all the difference in the world. I cannot say thank you enough. Sorry if I'm whiny.

heart wrote:I looked online and found a non profit group that hosts a group therapy deal in my neighborhood by calling a mental help hotline which I found on google. The hotlines are really useful because they give you help specific to your location and situation. The group thing is really basic but it helps even though I've only been to one meeting. think just being with a group of people talking about these problems openly, without the stigma I was raised with makes me feel like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. And the most awesome thing happened, a girl in my class was there and she told me she had been going there for three months.

This is all so wonderful to hear. It puts a smile on my face to see a young person making such good choices. Well done! Good luck at university. Keep in mind that pretty much any university will have a health center that provides counseling services to its students.

Heart,
Oh my God, I'm so sorry I didn't read your post until now. Welcome!

Such good advice from the other forum people here. Warms my heart. So glad you are getting help, and that's so awesome that you found a classmate at the support group! Please keep us informed on what's happening.

Also, when you go to university they will probably have some type of low-cost therapy available as well. Most universities do.

Your vulnerability and bravery are inspiring.

Paul

Hi Heart

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and you will come out of this a stronger person. I'm so glad you're going to university as I'm sure you'll make some lovely friends there. You are a kind, thoughtful young woman and someone your sister can look up to so don't worry about the affect you could have on her. Some parents just muddle through instead of putting their children first - which is crappy and really isn't good enough. Unfortunately we can't change them all you can do is be kind to yourself and try to realise that you are a lovely person, lots of hugs, Rosie

Hey heart...hang in there. University is such a different experience from the rest of life and being out of a rough environment for a bit is so healing.

If it helps at all, my mother has all the credentials to be a therapist and when I told her I was depressed and wanted to attempt counseling she told me to wait. So even parents educated on mental health issues can fall short regarding them.

I am so glad you've found a group to attend and hope that you find some quality extracurriculars when you are in college as well to connect to more people. Truly the more people we meet, the easier it is to realize we are fundamentally all the same.

Sorry you are having a rough go at your age but life does get better as it goes on so hang in there. Glad you are around

Hi
I was just having a rough week and so I went on the website and all your kindness and compassion made me smile like an idiot through the whole day thank you so much for making my day/ week/ year.

If it helps at all, my mother has all the credentials to be a therapist and when I told her I was depressed and wanted to attempt counseling she told me to wait. So even parents educated on mental health issues can fall short regarding them.

Yeah I guess I expected too much out of my parents, and I know I should remember that they're only human and having a rough time too. I just had a thought the other day that maybe part of my parent's insistence of ignoring mental illness is due to guilt? Not that they should feel any guilt, but maybe they feel falsely responsible as a parent and because they cannot deal with the guilt they suppress the problem and try to pretend its not there.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and you will come out of this a stronger person.

That really comforts me. I'm an everything happens for a reason gal. I feel like getting the depression and all other other stuff was a good thing for me ultimately because I can be a bit of an ass to be frank, and this helps humble me and makes me a better person. I am more compassionate and patient and understanding than before. This really helps tide me through the bad times because I feel like its just a temporary thing but it'll change me for the better for the rest of my life. And I really hope with these experiences I can help someone the way you guys on this forum and in my support group have helped me.
Thank you all so so much. I really appreciate all the friendly words that have kept me from being bitter.