YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

God, have I been drifting. My life feels very disconnected and not with any real purpose. I have a job at the same place which I have been doing for almost 25 years and I am afraid to move on- though I feel like I should be moving on. I'm a Corporate Photographer and I know that its hard to find work that I do, so I stay and feel like I failed. I was married once and ruined it by having an affair. I don't have kids. I have been in several long term relationships with women who are horribly dysfunctional, and because I am a passive person I get steamrolled often. I drink too much because I feel like if I go out to a bar I am with people who will like me, but I always regret this, and suffer from self-loathing and guilt the next day. I feel so lost these days, like I have made so many mistakes and wrong choices in my life and now I fear its too late.
But this podcast is a place where I feel better. I am grateful for it.

Welcome to the forum. I wish I had some good advice, but I am unqualified. So I just wanted to let you know I honor your pain, and I am glad to know that you are seeking some community. Please take care, all the best, we here are all cheering for you and your greatest today and tomorrow!

This may sound odd, Peter, but are/were you a member of any other forum? Your name and story sound very familiar to me.

Hi Peter

Every day you'll wake up to the chance of a new life. If you're not ready for change tomorrow, then you can give yourself time until you are ready. Maybe if you just start looking to see what other career choices are out there, just looking never hurt, then if something catches your eye, applying for it won't hurt either.

Meeting women who are dysfunctional is a toughie, I think I've come to the conclusion (after working on myself a bit) is that if I'm kind to myself and try to love the person I am today (yesterdays don't count) then I'll find a good man to love me back. Maybe that's true for all of us? Big hugs from across the pond, Rosie