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Tickling the anus of Satan

Posted: June 12th, 2012, 8:14 pm
by Hidalgo
Hi,

I am a 27 year old dude and feel very fortunate for finding this podcast. I was raised in an alcoholic home and had an alienating childhood and adolescence. I feel that I never made any connections with anyone since being a small child and I am not sure exactly how much it has to do with my upbringing. I have never been in a serious relationship and feel that I have no real sense of self. From adolescence up until the age of about 25 I was primarily driven by anger and was not aware of the negative energy and blame I was projecting on others. This was constant as a sober person. After learning to enjoy smoking pot at 25, which felt like a victory since any of the times I had tried it previously in school or whatever I was overwhelmed with panic and severe anxiety, I used it frequently for a few months until I noticed that I felt somewhat dependent on it to balance my mood. It felt like a relief because I promised myself I was going to go into some type of therapy again after a few previous unsuccessful attempts and it gave me reason to do so. I looked up MA listings and since there were none in my area, I decided to go to AA since it was advised that it would have the same benefits.
Going to meetings regularly, I felt an acceptance that gradually brought out my own honesty in hearing it through others. I don't know if it mattered that their focus was alcohol, but I drew a connection to the discontent and irritable feelings. I never had a problem with alcohol, but have abused drugs and am currently afraid about the adhd medication I am taking as prescribed. What I got out of the meetings brought out a transformation from selflessness and rage that has me trying to answer all of the questions that keep coming up about myself. I have not been able to relax and be at ease for most of my adult life, and yet what I am feeling now is still better than what I have had in the past.
What I am absolutely certain of is that I can't continue going on this way. I have a sense that things are going to get infinitely better or worse. That is what I choose, if I have a choice. I started getting panic attacks toward the end of highschool along with prolonged social anxiety for which psychiatrists were ineffective. In the process of this a lot of that has disappeared. There are times when I am present in the absolute sense. Other times if I am in a state fueled by ego I can sometimes recognize it and remind myself that I am the same as everybody else, or that I am just an asshole who hasn't found his truth yet. I feel that the methodology in AA that was helpful in getting others to break their habits triggered something in myself to not allow myself to waste anymore time. What I feel I need now is to take that energy to someone who knows something about recovery and surrender and let it transform.
Going to Alanon again after trying it briefly a couple years back, I made myself get a sponsor and feel like I can start making lasting connections with people. It seems like I will be balancing shame or guilt ridden feelings with a lot of anger once doors are opened. I think I have gotten a sense of the clarity that follows, however brief. I can't let myself stop now knowing the freedom that is just within reach.
I look forward to continue posting here and listening to the podcast. I would like to say Thank You to Paul for your honesty, awareness, and wonderful guests.

Re: Tickling the anus of Satan

Posted: June 13th, 2012, 12:12 pm
by Rosie
Welcome Hidalgo,

I hope you find some solice here, it's hard to come to grips with your past and present when you weren't shown a good example by your parents. I think the key is to be kind to yourself which I know can be really hard to do. You'll find a good relationship when you're ready and if you do learn to love yourself a little then it could be a relationship that works. I've been in quite a few relationships but I never got to know me and I wasn't kind to myself. If you enter into a relationship where you're not kind to yourself you could end up walking away every time something goes slightly wrong. On the flipside if you have low self-esteem you might end up with someone who doesn't deserve you. Sorry if this sounds like loads of advice but I'm forty and still not getting it right in the relationship department but I'm working on myself with therapy and feel like I'm turning a corner. Love yourself and someone will love you back, well that's what I'm trying to believe!

Big hugs from across the pond, Rosie