Never felt I was such a mess

[k_dog]

I've been struggling with ADHD and an alcoholic mother who, as of recently, I consider a full-fledged narcissist.

I thought I had done most of my work in my twenties and thirties, but it turns out I am a just a boy in my late-forties. I feel like parenthood has just been assigned to me - like a grandparent who gained custody. It may cost me my marriage and I'm not sure I even want to be a parent - even as a parent to myself, at this age. I thought parenting was something you chose!

I am simply beside myself. I have never been so embarrassed or scared in my life.

I feel it has cost me a great deal of money, friends, career opportunities, and potentially the only good thing in my life - my wife. I just hope I am somewhere in the vicinity of the bottom.

[in_media_res]

Welcome to the group k_dog. I think you'll find it to be a supportive environment.

Are you in any kind of treatment?

Best of luck.

[jenloiacono]

welcome to the forum

so sorry to hear all that you are struggling with. i hope that you will find this forum a safe place to talk about what's going on. there are a ton of supportive and encouraging people here for you.

[k_dog]

Thank you. I am in therapy. It seems to be helping...

I've also gone through the interview archives which has helped me recognize some of the dynamics of my situation. It's also been helpful to hear Paul get emotional during the podcasts. I've always felt like such an oddball because I can't go to my sessions without turning into a big crybaby at least once. I'm not embarrassed by it but I felt like it wasn't at all normal.