YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I love the podcast and was interested in being a part of the community around it. I have been looking for a forum like this for a long time.

I am a 25 year old man who struggles with crippling insecurity, so much so that I have have been unable to develop close relationships with other people. Consequently, I have no close friends to speak of. It has come to the point where it has become a source of embarrassment. I try to avoid questions about what my plans are for the weekend or what I am doing later after work, because I usually just stay at home and occupy myself with solitary hobbies like reading or watching TV. I want be more social, but when presented with the opportunity, I am overwhelmed with negative thoughts. I usually end up talking myself out of doing anything social because I would rather be alone than risk embarrassing myself or feeling disappointment. And when I do find myself in social situations, I often find it difficult to feel engaged with the people I am with. I can bluff my way through most mundane social scenarios--which obscures the almost constant anxiety I feel--but when confronted with intimate social interaction, I just become hopelessly awkward. I've moved to a new city and am trying fight these persistent negative thoughts, break my antisocial habits, and become a person comfortable enough with himself to let others get to know him.

I know my problem probably pales in comparison to what most people here struggle with, but I just thought, for the sake of introductions, I'd put that out there. I'm looking forward to being part of the community going on here.

Hello, essd0g! Welcome to the forum!

I am 41, and have only been recently diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and Aspergers. What you say about difficulties with relationships, I can definitely relate to. I am 100% positive you will arrive to better place much faster than I did - I am still working through issues.

Luckily, you're on the Internet! It's real social interaction but with less pressure. Welcome.

Hi essd0g. I can relate to what you describe - I was like that at your age, and even though I was lucky (?) enough to find a woman who I have been married to for nearly 13 years*, I still struggle with a lot of the same problems - no close friendships, difficulty opening up with people and being social, feeling like nobody will like or accept the true me.

I have had some success more recently putting myself out there. Some of it has created different problems, but overall it has been positive. One thing that has helped a lot is going to group therapy. It has helped me get used to being vulnerable and making emotional connections with people in a "safe" environment. I have actually made some close friends in group that have provided a great deal of support for learning how to cope with dealing with shame and improving self-esteem and dealing with difficult situations and people. Along those lines, signing up for this board was probably a really good start. Give people the chance to get to know you and you will probably be surprised how accepting they will be.

*although she has a lot of her own problems and we drive each other literally crazy.
Constantly.
But that's a topic for another thread.