YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello,

This is the first online forum of any kind that I've joined. I was compelled to jump in as it seems that talking with others who actually understand what depression and anxiety feel like seems to be the best form of therapy for me. I've somewhat given up on finding a therapist as the last attempt resulted in me sitting across from a woman who tried (unsuccessfully) to hide her shock as I explained my complete lack of ambition and the debilitating depression that I've been stuck in for the last few years. It didn't help the situation when three minutes into the session, she asked me how long I'd been at the weight I am and what I was doing to fix the fact that I'm overweight. I'm in that middle ground where I make enough money to support myself but I don't have enough extra floating around to pay for therapy... so I'm exhausted with the therapist hunt and the expenses involved.

I've recently been consumed with the thought that I may, in fact, be bipolar and that my decision to change jobs and relocate was done in some sort of manic blackout.

I'm comforted to know that others are out there who understand what I am feeling and look forward to learning from others' stories and experiences.

- Hales

Hello Hales,

Welcome. I'm kind of new here myself. I know what you're saying about finding the right therapist. You want someone you can be open with and who you can trust. Antagonism and judgement is not what you need. Been there myself. I was listening to Paul's discussion with Jessica Zucker earlier today. They talk about this a little bit. Good show.

Anyway, like you said it's good to know you're not alone. And you aren't. Lot's of people here are dealing with depression and other demons. It's great to have a forum to talk honestly about this stuff.

So good to meet you Hales. From another resident of the Mountain West.

Cheers!

Wow, I didn't realize there were therapists that conducted sessions in that way. I'm also new, and touch on considering therapy in my introduction. This would just crush me. I would like to receive open arms, and a certain amount of respect (especially on a first visit) I suppose for now, while I search for a reasonable therapist, I will look to you guys for understanding. I've read quite a few posts from you all, and the last thing I would do is try to segregate. Ugh, now I'm kind of upset that this could potentially happen to myself or others. So here's a question...what should we look for as far as credentials/certificates from a professional in this field?

Welcome. I hope that you can find this a peaceful, welcoming place where you can come to realize that there are a lot of people out there with whom you have a lot in common.

What you described sounds like an awful therapy experience. Unfortunately, therapists are people like the rest of us. They are imperfect and many of them have their own problems. I have found that thinking about what my goals in therapy are and how I want the therapist to help me reach them has been helpful in finding a good fit with a therapist and deciding whether to stick with one. Therapy isn't about "fixing" what's "wrong" with you. A good therapist will create a safe environment where you can be authentically real, be yourself, say what is on your mind without worry of judgment, and they will help you learn things about yourself and why you do or think or feel the way you do so that you can learn to change things about yourself that you are not happy with.

I am on my third therapist in the past six years. I'd be happy to share some of the different experiences I've had in terms of choosing a therapist or deciding to stick with or change if you or anyone else is interested, but I don't want to just take over this thread for that.

Bunnicula - I think licensing/credentials can vary somewhat by state. Psychologists have a Ph.D. degree in clinical psychology and are licensed. My therapists have all been psychologists - they tend to have the broadest academic training, but often tend to be the most expensive. Two other categories of therapists are social workers and counselors - both of which require licensure and certification. I would think you want to make sure that whoever you are considering seeing is one of those three, and I would ask about their education and background if it is not apparent to you. Another good question to ask is what style of therapy they use, what types of clients they usually work with (some therapists specialize in particular populations or particular types of problems). Finding a good match often involves really thinking hard about what you want to get out of therapy, doing a little bit of research, and possibly "auditioning" a few therapists until you find one that you feel comfortable with (and not being afraid to stop seeing someone who isn't working for you).

Thank you for saying hi and introducing yourselves!

Denver Guy - I loved the episode with Jessica Zucker! It gave me a little bit of hope when I heard the raw honesty that she encouraged and Paul is one of my heroes for being able to open up like that. I don't know how to be vulnerable like that.

I think we all share the same underlying need of wanting a safe, welcoming environment where you are free to completely express what you're feeling without fear of judgement. I know that there are good therapists out there and I don't hold the last counselor I met with liable for the actions of all others in the field - I'm not that delusional.

I have met with other therapists in the past (a total of four) and although most of the experiences haven't been anything near as tragic as the one I described in my first post, none of them were genuinely a good fit. At about the four or five month mark, I find myself minimizing what I'm feeling and essentially sabotaging the experience. That opens up an entirely different can of issues that I don't even know how to begin working with.

Weary - I would love to hear some experiences you've had in finding a therapist that you found was a good fit. I know that I need to go back - but I am stuck in that catch-22 where I don't have the energy to look but I know it's something I need to manage the depression and, in turn, have more energy. I need a therapist that will call me on my shit, not allow me to sabotage the session or lie my way through the experience, and genuinely want to help. I don't know if those characteristics actually exist in the same person...

Thanks again for being so welcoming!

hales - just wondering if you are mormon. I am mormon and often switch between hearing general conference talks and this podcast. While very different from each other, I feel like I need both. The podcast tells me I'm OK, just the way I am and is teaching me to be less judgmental. I also value the message from the talks namely, that there is a God out there who loves us and that for a purpose greater than we can really understand now, we suffer and go through trials, but we will come out of those trials wiser and stronger.