Hi from Texas

[sdjustinr]

Hi all, i'm a 26 year old gay male who has been a loyal listener since a friend turned me on to the podcast a few months ago. My official current diagnosis is schizoid bipolar but i've been through the gamut with diagnoses so many times I don't put much stock in that particular one (and subsequently don't trust psychiatrists much). What I do know for sure is most days I have trouble getting out of bed, I have narcissistic tendencies, I consider suicide at least once every day, and I am almost cripplingly shy (some friends have told me they think i'm slightly autistic) and I get this odd sensation when I'm about to speak that it won't actually be me speaking (I guess the false self as opposed to the true self). That has been my life since about the age of 12. There are other things of course but for the sake of brevity and out of consideration for whoever may be reading this I'll leave that at that.

In this stage of my recovery I've finally left home and am starting to come to terms with my family of origin (mom is an N, dad is codependent), even though it kind of feels like betrayal. I just got a full-time job which has been a tremendous help. Exercise and meditation have also been great help getting my mind back into shape. I'm currently not medicated as I was prescribed wellbutrin but it gave me some gnarly headaches. I was also prescribed Abilify but it gave me akathisia which was one of the most dreadful experiences I've had.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say about myself right now. Thank you for your podcast Paul, it has been a good companion when I have really bad days. I'm hoping to become a donor within the next couple of days.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello sdjustinr, welcome to the forum!

I have narcissistic tendencies, too, and I have social anxiety. I wish I got an odd feeling before I speak, because then it would stop the stupid stuff that comes out of my mouth.

Looking forward to your written contributions to the board! You are always welcome here!

We all wish you the greatest today and tomorrow! Cheers!