tired of this life
Posted: February 28th, 2013, 7:47 pm
Hello
I am married to a man with severe depression and some addiction to alcohol and pot. I have 2 older children from a previous relationship, and we have a set of twin boys. He has recently moved out this past weekend.
The day after NYE he told me , he was very unhappy and wanted to move out. He said I didnt let him be the father he wanted to be. He said living in this house was miserable. I was very sad and asked him over and over to please rethink it and have for years looked for a ways to understand him and be patient. I have read books, prayed to God to help me see my mistakes. He never liked what I cooked , but if i did cook he almost never ate it. The frustration , anxiety and stress was awful at home, everyone felt it. The twins have been diagnosed with ADHD and I have had to learn to deal with them almost on my own.
Anyway, apparently my husband was bluffing about moving out. The day he moved out he called and told me he couldn't believe I let him leave, even though he hadnt even slept with me since thanksgiving, he moved out of our bedroom and went to sleep in another room. Now he wants to come home and says he loves me . I am very angry because for 2 months I have been trying to accept or trying to change his mind. Today I have accepted it and I am even happy now. The burden of thinking up a way to make him want to stay is gone and the anxiety and stress is also gone from home. My older son is much happier and I see an improvement in the twins behavior as well.
So now I am full of guilt because my husband is trying to munipulate me into trying to let him come home to work things out. I have asked him many times to read or listen to some books , articles or podcast and he told me one time to - stick my book up my ass or no matter what he reads or does, nothing is changing his mind.
I have been treated awful and I am glad he is gone, but why do I feel bad for him ?? why cant i just stop thinking that I am being to harsh on him ?? Even thought I know that I am better off without him ..... what do you all think?? can I help him ?
I am married to a man with severe depression and some addiction to alcohol and pot. I have 2 older children from a previous relationship, and we have a set of twin boys. He has recently moved out this past weekend.
The day after NYE he told me , he was very unhappy and wanted to move out. He said I didnt let him be the father he wanted to be. He said living in this house was miserable. I was very sad and asked him over and over to please rethink it and have for years looked for a ways to understand him and be patient. I have read books, prayed to God to help me see my mistakes. He never liked what I cooked , but if i did cook he almost never ate it. The frustration , anxiety and stress was awful at home, everyone felt it. The twins have been diagnosed with ADHD and I have had to learn to deal with them almost on my own.
Anyway, apparently my husband was bluffing about moving out. The day he moved out he called and told me he couldn't believe I let him leave, even though he hadnt even slept with me since thanksgiving, he moved out of our bedroom and went to sleep in another room. Now he wants to come home and says he loves me . I am very angry because for 2 months I have been trying to accept or trying to change his mind. Today I have accepted it and I am even happy now. The burden of thinking up a way to make him want to stay is gone and the anxiety and stress is also gone from home. My older son is much happier and I see an improvement in the twins behavior as well.
So now I am full of guilt because my husband is trying to munipulate me into trying to let him come home to work things out. I have asked him many times to read or listen to some books , articles or podcast and he told me one time to - stick my book up my ass or no matter what he reads or does, nothing is changing his mind.
I have been treated awful and I am glad he is gone, but why do I feel bad for him ?? why cant i just stop thinking that I am being to harsh on him ?? Even thought I know that I am better off without him ..... what do you all think?? can I help him ?