Fear is the mind-killer--how much control do we really have?
Posted: May 10th, 2013, 11:04 am
Wherever I go there's my living room.
The grass is greener where you water it.
Stubbornly refuse to be ashamed of anything!
I know the truth, as changing as it usually is, as scientifically as I possibly can know it. I've read the wisdom. I think I'm a good judge of therapeutic brilliance because I have a BA in psych and a masters degree in clinical social work and I'm just smart like that. Maybe. I worked as a therapist/case-manager at a Latino mental health clinic in Oakland at the turn of the millenium. I loved the clients and trying to figure out what to say or do that would help most. I've come up with my own genius one liners and sometimes smile with satisfaction at how far I've come from the teen who could dance only in front of a mirror and was too scared to talk to girls. But how much have I done lately to grow into a shamelessly grand existence? Not much, I think. I feel like I'm standing in front thousands of people with a spot light so hard on me that I can't see anyone in the audience. Fear, so often, so long. I alternately feel like I'm hiding in a room with bad lighting, hiding my life away doing safe little things when I could be out there soaring toward freedom from fear, closer to my dreams made true. What irrational fears have I approached lately? None? Writing this was easy. I like writing. Was it therapeutic? Maybe. So if we have free will why isn't KNOWING a sufficient condition for change? Losing God was ultimately maturing and a big relief. I feel grown up (no deistic offense intended) and hard headed as much as I would if I were the only adult who didn't believe Santa delivers the presents at Christmas. As if we were all dying of gift-starvation. (No Santa? That's it. No meaning. No point.) But when I lost faith in Free Will I felt...gone. Thoughts? Anyone? Is this mic working?:0] Oh, and my name is Martin (mar-TEEN) the Argentine. Hi there. What's yours? I'm at mentalflossdaily@yahoo.com if you wanna connect sans spotlight.
The grass is greener where you water it.
Stubbornly refuse to be ashamed of anything!
I know the truth, as changing as it usually is, as scientifically as I possibly can know it. I've read the wisdom. I think I'm a good judge of therapeutic brilliance because I have a BA in psych and a masters degree in clinical social work and I'm just smart like that. Maybe. I worked as a therapist/case-manager at a Latino mental health clinic in Oakland at the turn of the millenium. I loved the clients and trying to figure out what to say or do that would help most. I've come up with my own genius one liners and sometimes smile with satisfaction at how far I've come from the teen who could dance only in front of a mirror and was too scared to talk to girls. But how much have I done lately to grow into a shamelessly grand existence? Not much, I think. I feel like I'm standing in front thousands of people with a spot light so hard on me that I can't see anyone in the audience. Fear, so often, so long. I alternately feel like I'm hiding in a room with bad lighting, hiding my life away doing safe little things when I could be out there soaring toward freedom from fear, closer to my dreams made true. What irrational fears have I approached lately? None? Writing this was easy. I like writing. Was it therapeutic? Maybe. So if we have free will why isn't KNOWING a sufficient condition for change? Losing God was ultimately maturing and a big relief. I feel grown up (no deistic offense intended) and hard headed as much as I would if I were the only adult who didn't believe Santa delivers the presents at Christmas. As if we were all dying of gift-starvation. (No Santa? That's it. No meaning. No point.) But when I lost faith in Free Will I felt...gone. Thoughts? Anyone? Is this mic working?:0] Oh, and my name is Martin (mar-TEEN) the Argentine. Hi there. What's yours? I'm at mentalflossdaily@yahoo.com if you wanna connect sans spotlight.