YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

36yo white female, married 8 years, one 2yo son, and a cat. Resent my husband's complete freedom while I'm left to raise the child he asked me for (my entire life changed, he still does what he wants when he wants, etc...) Suffered post-pardom after son was born, monthly counseling for maintenance, Lexapro for depression and anxiety. Howdy!!!

Welcome!

Only speaking for myself, I know firsthand how compelling it can be to take the specific actions that well may lead to a baby. In the heat of the moment, such evidence can be very very compelling.

First of all, sending hugs. I don't think anything can prepare you for the radical shakeup of life that happens when you have a kid under the best of circumstances with a partner who believes in sharing childrearing 50/50. Everything changes, to the point where you have to schedule in taking a shower, and to add PPD on top of that is a really tough thing to tackle.

Does he know how much you resent that he has a life outside parenthood? He may not like to hear it, but as your husband, and your son's father, it is his responsibility to take over kid responsibilities sometimes to give you downtime. A few hours on the weekend can do you so much good...see a funny movie, get a mani-pedi (if that appeals to you), or just hit the library and curl up in a chair with a good book in a quiet enviornment. Or, if you have close friends who aren't drama queens, call them up and do lunch or coffee. You don't have to spend a lot of money (or any at all) to get a space and experience that is all about you, as a person, not about you as a mother. Taking time out to do helps you to be a better mother, especially if you're slipping into a depression.