YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi All,
I have been listening to this podcast since its second episode. It has carried me through many bouts of self doubt and a plethora of interpersonal obstacles. I am a single, childless woman in my early 40's; I am well aware of my issues, I just cannot believe that I am so unique! I listen each week for an episode that is similar to my life; I have afflictions from about 95% of the issues shared here. I wish with all of my might that I had a bad memory, and that I were less intelligent. I have theorized and overanalyzed others' actions toward me, I understand that their pathologies were flawed, but why so MANY awful things were put upon one little girl (me!) is astounding. I have become a complete loner- not a shut in, but I do not want anything to do with family, and i have too much Samsonite for any person to be introduced to. I trust no one, not even myself.

I have a few close friends and two best friends for life; I am fortunate here.

Hello Melanie. You are welcome here.

Thank you, Oak.

Although you've been with us since the beginning, welcome to the forum.

Thank you, ghughes1980.

Nice of you to join us. Sounds like you have had a lot to deal with in your life, but you sound like a mindful and introspective person. I hope that you can find the ability to trust (and love) yourself and others as you move forward.

Hello there. Had to LOL on the Samsonite statement! I found someone, and so can you. I envy you your memory though. I've been depressed, PTSD, Fibromyalgic for over 10 years now. I've forgotten a lot of things that my kids point out to me all the time. It hurts them, so in a way I think I might like being a "loner" too. I never wanted kids and my family has betrayed me so many times, I feel nothing for them anymore!

Hi justme2013,

I laughed the first time heard the Samsonite reference too; I'm glad you smiled. The memory is a powerful tool in keeping us in tolerable states of existence; but is popping up in other ways.... I have ADD/ADHD; Depression, Anxiety, a bad back, and I have a shoulder injury from two years ago that has kept me out of physical health; it pops out of position and is painful for three to five days when I do a seemingly simple task, like the dishes or laundry. The reason it's so frustrating is that my treatment for ADD/ADHD and depression revolves around being physically active. My depression has been really bad for five years, and it comes and goes for the past seven months. Staying away from people has been the best for my mental health- outside of work, that is. I teach, and when I'm teaching my brain categorizes my work as if it were a performance on stage.

Anyway, thank you for sharing. I used to want so many things; now, I just want peace and to not worry about anything; love would be great, but it comes with maintenace issues and no warranty.

Melanie,

Welcome! I was just thinking today how much I value the listeners who have heard most or all of the episodes. They feel like friends to me. They cheer me up when I'm down, they point out when I'm beating myself up, and they suggest things to make the show better. And they let me know that I'm growing as a podcaster and person.

I hope you find this forum to be a similar kind of place for you. It's so safe because it's as anonymous as we want it to be, but just by our being here, there's a vulnerability that is possible, because let's be honest - if we we have never struggled why would be come here?

So I hope you can see from the outpouring of warmth from the other awesome members of the forum that people here root for each other.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I think a support group would be great because if you don't have friends who have lived similar experiences, you can miss out on that shared bond that makes past pain a positive; a tool for deep meaningful connection. I connect with my support group friends in a way I never did with my comedy peers.

Glad you're here

Paul

Hi Paul,

So nice to hear from you! You are doing important work here. Thank you for your portal into the minds and lives of others, and the most vulnerable of all- yours. You are a jewel, and I really like dick jokes.

Melanie