YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I have been listening to the podcast for over a year but just now joined the forum. I'm OCD in that when I start a podcast, I have to start from the beginning, so I'm still behind, just finishing up 2012. I decided to join the forum because today marks the 3rd day this week I've kept myself in isolation. I can't get it together to go to work. I was feeling better on Wednesday morning, so I went to work at 9, but when I had to keep working past 7pm because I missed so much work I just mentally broke down and started crying at work. I managed to hide myself away until most people were gone, then I kept working until 12:30am to get everything done. Of course thats why I slept 12 hours and didn't make it to work today. I just feel so ashamed and guilty for not coming in to work. I have tried talking to friends and letting them know that I feel like crap. They usually just give me this really sad look that makes me feel like shit, or they text, "let me know what I can do"? That pisses me off. If I knew what to tell you to do then I would just tell you to do it! Fuck! What I am supposed to say? Please come over here and make sure I get out of bed and to work every day? Oh and drive me because I can't manage to do that myself. I can't even force myself to shower. I just hurt and want this pain to go away already. I would say this is my 3rd bout of depression and it is by far the worst. I feel like I have no support system, and no one to lean on if I fail. Ok. I guess thats a sad introduction but thats how i feel right now.

Hello mkchavez77!

You are most definitely not alone. Depression is a cruel beast that makes the best steps for recovery seem impossibly out of reach, when they are most definitely within arm's reach. Please take care, we are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

You are not alone. I'm a frequent flier on the "cry at work" shuttle. It's nothing to be ashamed of even if I am anyway.

Depression makes asking for help hard, but it's worth it. It is okay to fall apart a little under the weight of what you are facing and let those people who want to know how to help know how overwhelmed you are. You have a medical condition that isn't your fault. People who've never been where you are won't understand, but they will often still try to help. It's can be awkward but better than going through the pain alone.

I hope you continue to post as you work to get healthy again.

Hey mkchavez77

I have spent the majority of the past month canceling my appointments and responsibilities because I didn't have the energy and motivation to get out of bed (fortunately I had the podcast to listen to). That is depression for ya....I've been struggling with it my whole life and lost count of how many depressive episodes I have had. As mentioned by the precious posters, you are not alone and we as a community are here to support each other and combat the demons. Sounds like you are in a pretty bad spot so have you thought about getting help from a therapist or support group? at the very least calling the national suicide prevention hotline can maybe allow for some temporary relief and potentially give you just a bit more energy to fight the depression. Anyways, I just wanted to welcome you and send you my support. We are in it together bud, hang in. I am hoping all the best for you.

Michael