YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi everyone,
Long time listener, first time caller...

I've been listening to the podcast since... pretty close to the beginning. Back when it was a "steaming hot ladle of awkward and icky." It was back when I listened to the Nerdist and Chris Hardwick asked Maria Bamford if she'd been on Paul's show. I was intrigued as I never even knew there was a podcast out there for people like me. I heard a few episodes and was hooked. I can honestly say this show is one of the highlights of my week. (Not sure what that says about me.)

So anyway, a little about me: I'm a 41-year old bloke, a bit overweight and British. That alone should mean I need therapy. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2010, but it seems I've had it in some form for a looooooong time, maybe since my early 20s. Not even entirely sure what the cause was, I never had any particular childhood trauma, it just seems to be the way I am. Anyway, it was only a few years ago that I thought about getting some help - work had just got to me and I pretty much had a semi-breakdown. I tried CBT for a few weeks (we get it for free for a limited time on the NHS), but it didn't really seem to help much.

Currently on Sertraline (but have had Fluoxetine and Citalopram in the past). I wouldn't say it's sorted my depression out, but probably helps keep some of the darker thoughts at bay. If anything, it seems to have flattened me out - I don't really experience extreme emotions anymore, nether good nor bad. Weird.

I also get cripplingly bad anxiety, particularly in social situations: I pretty much have no contact with anyone other than my deeply understanding and patient wife. It's not overstating things to say I'd be lost without her.

One of the few things I find helps with my state of mind is my art - I'm an amateur comic artist. I'll probably never be professional, it's too difficult an industry to get into and my own lack of self-confidence would seriously dent my chances. But it's at least a real relief that I have this fun activity that keeps me sane - from the late 90s for about 12 years, I'd completely given it up. Another thing I've found is that depression (or the meds) has totally destroyed my creativity. I can draw perfectly fine, but very rarely my own characters.

So, that's me. Nice to finally dip my toe in the Mentalpod waters.

cheers everyone,
JSD

Hello!

hi
Nice to hear that someone else is on sertrine. for me, it evens out my mood. I really do need it, I have found. Dealing with the day to day bs can be a bit much

Elmer68

I'm a 41-year old bloke, a bit overweight and British. That alone should mean I need therapy.

Thank you for the laugh! That's just hilarious. My grandmother (now deceased) was from Bristol and last year I saw her relatives--loved them but they drove me a little crazy. They were surprisingly drama-flouncers for people over the hill and also horrendously racist and judgmental. Also it kept annoying me that my American auntie now keeps saying "mum" when I never heard her say it before and none of her other siblings say it . I am Californian just for the record.

I'm also so glad you hear you have an understanding and patent partner; I'd say that's pretty lucky.

I love comics! I want to write or draw comics myself. What kind of stuff do you like?? You shouldn't be so down on yourself about "making it" in the comic industry--from everything I've learned, it's a real shithole. You need to focus on your passion and do what you please and publish what you please and become an independent artist--so long as you don't stake your worth as a person or an artist on how much you sell, you will be doing what calls to you! Maybe never publish at all and become the comic book Van Gough--keep at it! Art and writing and all forms of creativity are so essential for some of us with issues.

I'm so glad to welcome you to the forum JSDarwen!