YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I guess I should explain the subject of this post. I'm the guy who filled out the awfulsome survey about how a little boy asked why my hand was messed up. Paul read it on the most recent episode. 19/20 because I have 19 out of my original 20 digits.

I'll tell the story what happened to my hand (even though I hate telling it and I know people will judge me). I have always loved target shooting. I'm not a "gun nut." I never carried a gun around. I didn't consider using a gun for security. I just really love going shooting in a controlled environment.
Late on a Sunday night I was cleaning and doing safety check on a pistol I owned.
There was a metal flaw in the gun. When I chambered a round the gun went off three times before it jammed. I could have died.

I am 30. I have autism, depression, ocd and an eating disorder.

My parents were divorced before I can remember. I lived with my mom until I was 12 when she died. I moved from Texas to South Dakota to live with my godparents. My godfather was emotionally abusive. I was a musician (until my hand got all jacked up).

And that's all I feel like sharing now.

Welcome!

I have to say, I used to live in South Dakota. Some of the best years of my life - I loved South Dakota, even though it was there I experienced my first stint in the mental hospital. I'm surprised to read that people judge you over gun usage - especially since you're in the midwest. I get judgmental comments when I say I don't have guns.

But, really, they can go fuck themselves.

I was surprised at how many people told me it was my own damn fault. My godfather told everyone we both know that it happened because I was, "playing with a gun."

Are you serious? Do they not understand the concept of mechanical failure? If they want to blame you for that, well, then they can blame themselves for a severed relationship with you.

I like you.