Hi... /original
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 8:19 am
Umm, hi, fellow people. I'm a new forum user and a new MIHH listener, and so far I've really related to and loved it, and a lot of times the only place I really have to vent is my facebook and my friends there just don't understand so I figured this might be a good place to be.
My name is Sara, I'm a compulsive over-eater, I have major depression, I have social anxiety that can get pretty severe, as well some other anxieties, I was raised in a dysfunctional family with verbal/emotional abuse, I'm codependent, I think I have CPTSD (thank you, wikipedia), and I believe that I'm fundamentally bad and I can't change that.
I've been in and out of therapy since I was 18 (I'm 27 now), currently I'm going to the same therapist I've been with for over a year every week, and I'm on prozac and have that adjusted by a psychiatrist I see every 6 weeks, and that's getting me out of bed and helping me feel some hope. I try to go to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, but it's hard because I'm the only suburban American adult who doesn't drive (thanks, anxiety), and I also have a full-time job and I'm tired on Saturday mornings and want to sleep in, and I have no way to get home from meetings after work (I could go and ask for a ride home but I'm scared no one will be able to and I'll be stuck). So that's what I'm currently doing to try and help myself.
I'm on leave from a PhD in linguistics because my depression got so bad I was avoiding all my work and almost got kicked out of the program for not meeting deadlines. I hope to continue in the fall (my meds have been adjusted since so I think I can do it). Listening to the MIHH has made me want to be a comedian though, haha. I spent several months unemployed and am thankful to have a job now even though my bosses' screaming triggers my CPTSD and sometimes I feel so much shame I practice self-harm because it feels like the only way to appropriately atone for everything I do wrong. I have a wonderful boyfriend who also has depression and anxiety and self-esteem issues, and we understand and try to help each other. Unfortunately because we're both frequently broke, I don't drive, and we live 30 miles apart, we only see other a couple weekends a month, but those weekends are pretty much bliss when they happen, and we text almost every day. I have a lot of wonderful friends too but I don't live very near any of them either, so I get lonely a lot. My roommates are nice but I don't trust them enough to share this stuff with them (they're too "normal").
Anyway, I've blabbed enough, just wanted to leave something here before I start posting elsewhere in this forum.![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon/smile.gif)
My name is Sara, I'm a compulsive over-eater, I have major depression, I have social anxiety that can get pretty severe, as well some other anxieties, I was raised in a dysfunctional family with verbal/emotional abuse, I'm codependent, I think I have CPTSD (thank you, wikipedia), and I believe that I'm fundamentally bad and I can't change that.
I've been in and out of therapy since I was 18 (I'm 27 now), currently I'm going to the same therapist I've been with for over a year every week, and I'm on prozac and have that adjusted by a psychiatrist I see every 6 weeks, and that's getting me out of bed and helping me feel some hope. I try to go to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, but it's hard because I'm the only suburban American adult who doesn't drive (thanks, anxiety), and I also have a full-time job and I'm tired on Saturday mornings and want to sleep in, and I have no way to get home from meetings after work (I could go and ask for a ride home but I'm scared no one will be able to and I'll be stuck). So that's what I'm currently doing to try and help myself.
I'm on leave from a PhD in linguistics because my depression got so bad I was avoiding all my work and almost got kicked out of the program for not meeting deadlines. I hope to continue in the fall (my meds have been adjusted since so I think I can do it). Listening to the MIHH has made me want to be a comedian though, haha. I spent several months unemployed and am thankful to have a job now even though my bosses' screaming triggers my CPTSD and sometimes I feel so much shame I practice self-harm because it feels like the only way to appropriately atone for everything I do wrong. I have a wonderful boyfriend who also has depression and anxiety and self-esteem issues, and we understand and try to help each other. Unfortunately because we're both frequently broke, I don't drive, and we live 30 miles apart, we only see other a couple weekends a month, but those weekends are pretty much bliss when they happen, and we text almost every day. I have a lot of wonderful friends too but I don't live very near any of them either, so I get lonely a lot. My roommates are nice but I don't trust them enough to share this stuff with them (they're too "normal").
Anyway, I've blabbed enough, just wanted to leave something here before I start posting elsewhere in this forum.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon/smile.gif)