Day to Day
Posted: June 24th, 2014, 12:37 pm
Hello,
I wanted to introduce myself. I am a regular listener of the pod cast and identify with a little bit of
what everyone says.
I am in my early 40s divorced with one daughter.
I have been up and down and battled depression my whole life without knowing it. It wasn't until i divorced my wife 5 years ago
that I sought therapy and during the time that we tried to save our marriage by going to counseling.
The divorce was my choice. It was a hard decision because of my young daughter who is now 8. She has handled it well and is a
happy and wonderful girl.
I changed careers partly due to my depression and dealing with divorce at the time. That was hard for me. I tried a variety of meds
and nothing seemed to work.
Two years ago my father passed away and that threw me into a deep depression. I finally sought a psychiatrist and went on medication. Slowly
but surely I got better and better. I got to the point where i didn't feel I needed the meds anymore and stopped. Big mistake.
I was doing well for the longest time. Last February 2013 , I met a nice woman whom I dated for a few months and thought everything was going well. I thought I had
maybe met my soul mate. Life appeared to be going well. We got along very well with each other and enjoyed each others company. Then one day out of the blue, she called me up and broke up with me. She said that she tried and tried but was not physically attracted to me. I was devastated and went into another deep depression. I was able to do my job but not much else. I spent most of my time alone, sulking and barely being sociable.
I'm close to my mother and she encouraged me to get back on medication. This was great and last summer I was back on medication and doing very well. For the next year I was ding good. Even to the point where I was only seeing my doctor every 3 months because the meds were working so well.
Then a month and a half ago things changed. This time there was no distinct reason that I could come up with. I had gone from being so happy, so social, so involved in my community to being the total opposite, not wanting to do anything. I saw my doctor immediately and he added a medication that wasn't covered by my insurance but I took it anyway hoping for help. It's a month later and it hasn't helped. I see him tomorrow and will give it another try.
I am not happy and know this is no way to live. Fortunately, my 8 year old daughter keeps me going. I have partial custody of her and know I need to get healthy again and be a good dad for her. Even though I want to end this pain, I know that the s-word would be a selfish thing to do and hurt those who love me.
I wish I could be in a support group but I know of no such thing where I live. I listen to the pod cast and am sometimes comforted by those who have problems such as mine and more often than not much grander. My heart goes out to them.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting by writing this but wanted to say hello to everyone and introduce myself.
Paul
I wanted to introduce myself. I am a regular listener of the pod cast and identify with a little bit of
what everyone says.
I am in my early 40s divorced with one daughter.
I have been up and down and battled depression my whole life without knowing it. It wasn't until i divorced my wife 5 years ago
that I sought therapy and during the time that we tried to save our marriage by going to counseling.
The divorce was my choice. It was a hard decision because of my young daughter who is now 8. She has handled it well and is a
happy and wonderful girl.
I changed careers partly due to my depression and dealing with divorce at the time. That was hard for me. I tried a variety of meds
and nothing seemed to work.
Two years ago my father passed away and that threw me into a deep depression. I finally sought a psychiatrist and went on medication. Slowly
but surely I got better and better. I got to the point where i didn't feel I needed the meds anymore and stopped. Big mistake.
I was doing well for the longest time. Last February 2013 , I met a nice woman whom I dated for a few months and thought everything was going well. I thought I had
maybe met my soul mate. Life appeared to be going well. We got along very well with each other and enjoyed each others company. Then one day out of the blue, she called me up and broke up with me. She said that she tried and tried but was not physically attracted to me. I was devastated and went into another deep depression. I was able to do my job but not much else. I spent most of my time alone, sulking and barely being sociable.
I'm close to my mother and she encouraged me to get back on medication. This was great and last summer I was back on medication and doing very well. For the next year I was ding good. Even to the point where I was only seeing my doctor every 3 months because the meds were working so well.
Then a month and a half ago things changed. This time there was no distinct reason that I could come up with. I had gone from being so happy, so social, so involved in my community to being the total opposite, not wanting to do anything. I saw my doctor immediately and he added a medication that wasn't covered by my insurance but I took it anyway hoping for help. It's a month later and it hasn't helped. I see him tomorrow and will give it another try.
I am not happy and know this is no way to live. Fortunately, my 8 year old daughter keeps me going. I have partial custody of her and know I need to get healthy again and be a good dad for her. Even though I want to end this pain, I know that the s-word would be a selfish thing to do and hurt those who love me.
I wish I could be in a support group but I know of no such thing where I live. I listen to the pod cast and am sometimes comforted by those who have problems such as mine and more often than not much grander. My heart goes out to them.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting by writing this but wanted to say hello to everyone and introduce myself.
Paul