YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi I am Lonely JC I could not take it anymore Paul I was 38 years old and my father was encouraging me to drink I grew up in home where my father was alcoholic I turned to alcoholic beverages too I sometimes feel like I am a fucked up person I was in a hotel I lost my memory I couldn't remember if I had sex with a girl I didn't want to held responsible I thought I had might of been a victim of a crime I was learning disabled it sad my dad ordered me a drink told me to drink it that is why I so angry I lost my memory I can't remember anything I never had a way to cope or get help nobody wanted to listen too me or believe me they had thought I was the boy crying wolf I grew up as kid telling stories but I had Aspergers too I always heard voices in the room I never knew if I was going to get married my mom was always making fun of me about my weight I always remembering in my old house my dad hitting me with a metal rod I am freaking out and having flashbacks I can't remember what he so angry about and he slapped me in Alabama my father worked for government I thought I was held responsible because I was never a good son

Lonely JC

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Suicide and Suicide Prevention Resources

Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255

another: 1-800-SUICIDE (1 800-784-2433)

another: type "Suicide Hotline" in you favorite Internet search

another: suicide.org -- Domestic & International Suicide Hotlines

These are your #1 resources, all other resources are conditional on you staying alive, and Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255 is how you will stay alive.

Best online suicide-prevention collection of great resources: suicide.org

"Coping with Suicidal Thoughts: A Resource for Patients" -- Suicide resource packet multipage PDF, a work-booklet using Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

Resources for helping others, including contacts to social media safety teams -- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline; Help Someone Else Online

Finally, here is a good summary of the precursors to suicide to help you understand yourself and others, it is from a PhD psychologist whose father committed suicide:

American Psychological Association - Thomas Joiner, PhD - Precursors to suicide, for yourself and others

Cheers to you, for scrolling all the way down to the bottom of this copypasta!

Lonely JC, well done for asking for help. I am sorry that you have had such hard times. I hope you know that you are not alone. I hope the podcast and this forum can bring you some comfort?