YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Not sure how to introduce myself on a forum that I actually finally feel "not alone" in...
Hello! I live in NYC, am a native of these parts, and am at a serious crossroads at 25 years old. I am currently in one of the longest depressive episodes I have ever experienced and for the first time am unsure if I want to go get help yet or not. Usually I get myself to therapy, or something anything, but after seeing a therapist for about 5 months and only having my life pull me down further... it is not a safe haven to me anymore.
I was diagnosed with major depression at 12. C-PTSD just this year. I have because of the podcast realized that I have issues with codependency. That's all I've got for now. Let's see if their forum will feel as different as it seems it will.

-Stormy

Your depression is making self-abusive action seem attractive, because depression distorts thinking. Please stay with your therapist. Coping with depression is a life-long practice, not a destination. Stick with the self-loving life-long practices that will let you live a life of accomplishment and fulfillment.

someone took something from you and it still scares you at night. its not your fault. you feel yourself less than and weak because you feel you've let it take to much of your life from you. fuck that. your process is your process...this thing that stained you has taken what it's gonna take. that was the easy part. the close to impossible part is getting back what you can, and finding hea;thy substitutes for what can never be fully healed, and making allowances if you feel you fall short of how much progress you should be making. you cannot force growth. you are doing well, you are making progress. you are getting better. you may not see it now, you may feel as though your getting worse. your not. you think i must be full of shit bc i am a stranger on the intrenet. but i know things although i'm not quite sure how. i know you are beautiful and more than capable of creating and accomplishing amazing things. I'm not really religious, but god's light is shining on you

btw u cant tell but i'm a pessimist