YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

The person I used to be would never wanna know the person I've become.....
I am painfully aware of what i am, who i am......it seems people spend an exorbanant amount of time trying to figure this out, but not i, no, i got that one fuckin pegged...
and this is something i realize i should be thankful for, but it brings little respite
I am not a good person. i am not kind, i am not thoughtful, i have no respect for other people. i cause pain and heartache to those whom i love
i am a insuffient mother, an insuffient person
i am present enough to know that change must take place, i know that i must be the aribiter of my own fate
or i will die from this affliction...this is something i am also painfully aware of, and accept it as the gospel truth
i am thankful for still having enough control of my faculties to understand this fully,
and the fact that i want to change means that there is hope.
i need help...NEED HELP....but i have no fucking clue as to where to start

Hello KathyArsis!

I would start with compassion-for-the-self, especially giving yourself compassion and permission to change slowly and make mistakes. It is not realistic to change everything quickly, or to never make mistakes.

KathyArsis wrote:i am thankful for still having enough control of my faculties to understand this fully,
and the fact that i want to change means that there is hope.

This proves you are worthy of self-compassion and patience with yourself.

You have started just by introducing yourself. Welcome