How Do I Tell Someone About My Trauma?

[Neurodivergentrebel]

Hello,

I am a long time listener, but this is my first time posting on the forum, so I'm sorry if something like this has been asked before.

I am autistic, and it is difficult for me to read social situations. For most of my life, I have been pretty socially isolated, and I am lucky to have a job working in a lab, mostly by myself. So, I've never really talked to anyone about the childhood traumas I've experienced or about my autism. But, about 9 months ago a new person was hired and we have been working pretty closely on a semi-daily basis. We have become friends, and talk about a lot of things, but I haven't brought up my trauma or my autism. I have never told anyone about my trauma or the depression that resulted and my suicidal thoughts (not so much an issue now, but something I do want to tell someone about). I want to tell him about it, but I don't know if I should. Would he care? It is appropriate? We are friends but we work together too. How will this affect our work relationship and/or friendship? How do I even start this conversation? And would talking about it really help anyway? I've literally never talked about these things with another person, which makes me nervous, because I typically like to have a "script" to follow when engaging socially, but I don't know what the script would be for this situation.

Any advice or help would be great, thanks!

[rivergirl]

Hi Neuro,

I not a professional, but here are a few suggestions based on my own experience of having friends who are also coworkers.

1) Consider how your friend talks about other coworkers. Is he generally kind and discreet (not the type of person who spends a lot of time gossiping or sharing things told to him in confidence by other coworkers)?

2) Start out slowly and see how your friend reacts. Is he understanding, and does he seem to want to know more? I think the best case scenario for sharing more intimate aspects of your life with a friend and/or coworker would be that he would also open up more with you, and then you could develop a feeling of mutual closeness and trust.

3) Perhaps you've already considered this or even tried it, but is there a meetup or other type of group in your area for people with the type of trauma you expereinced as a child, or for people with Autism? There are several groups like that where I live, although I'm in a larger metro area so this may be more limited depending on where you are. It can be a relief to know that the people you share with already understand at least some aspects of your experiences.

I'm not sure if you'll see this since it's been a while since you posted, but if you do and feel comfortable sharing, please let us know how it goes and how you're doing now.
Sending you good thoughts & hugs,

rivergirl