Emotionally Numb...

[bigfoot]

I had a realization today that I am harming myself in various ways to actually "feel" something. My self-harm is never traditionally physical, instead it manifests itself in things like poor money management, overeating/binging on sweets/junk food, gambling (related to the poor money management), shopping (again, related to the poor money management). I am curious as to what are some good first steps to take? I've been rather down on myself lately (laid off at the beginning of the month) and have seen my depression sneaking back in, and my anxiety swinging way, way up, both of which are major triggers for me.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello bigfoot, welcome to our little forum! Make yourself at home in the threads and topics here!

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Noticing that you are using self-harming behavior to manage your mood is the first step. I would recommend meditation as a better way to manage your mood. I also use food and shopping to manage my mood around depression and anxiety, I just try to be mindful of all my thoughts and actions and try not to make too drastic a change, because there can be anxiety around huge changes in behavior. Just cut out the self-harming behaviors little by little.

Good luck.

All the best, keep the lines of communication open, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow.

[Brooke]

I am sorry you are suffering from self-sabotaging behaviors... I don't know what your root issues are, but they really do manifest outward... I would suggest maybe looking inward into yourself and giving your root issues some affirming attention. I feel like when we don't adequately address our issues, our bodies and minds will automatically release it in other ways to get our attention. That process of paying attention to ourselves is ongoing, but I feel like that is the surest way to slowly manage our sabotaging behaviors. If you feel overwhelmed to do it by yourself, you can seek others to help you. This community is a great way to express yourself and share your stories with others. Please don't feel like you have to do it alone or stuff your emotions with outside stimulation.

In my situation, when I get overwhelmed by my depression/anxiety, I come straight here to "purge" out my thoughts and read other people's posts. I need to release any types of insecurities or guilt I'm feeling. And it really helps me. I hope you can find comfort here, too.