Episode 223: Heather Marlowe

[SpookyGhost]

The writer/performer opens up about being drugged and raped and the pressure she has been putting on the San Francisco police department to process the thousands of warehoused rape kits whose DNA could help catch the predators who remain unapprehended.

Follow Heather on Twitter @HeatherMarlowe To find out more about her play The Haze go to http://www.thehazeplay.com

http://mentalpod.com/Heather-Marlowe-podcast

[libby]

This was a deeply emotional podcast for me. I am the mother of a young woman who was assaulted last year in L.A. County in very similar circumstances as Heather. From the search for her when she was missing for several hours, up to present day, the whole experience was just awful. The first 911 call had to be repeated. We found her before they did. When they did find her, she was drugged. The perpetrator was there in his apartment where she was kept, and they just advised her to be careful how much she drank. As it turns out, she had no alcohol blood level. That should had been the first clue to the LAPD that something was wrong. She was drugged, she did not know this man, and there was a search party out looking for her and she has a seizure disorder. That is how it started. To this day, the rape kit is not processed and she has been lectured by the detectives as to the one drink she had and has been basically dismissed. She told me recently almost everyone asked about if and how much she had to drink and what she was wearing. She lies to them and tells them she had a soda next to her lounge chair in the pool area that he must have rufied. She blames herself, she blames herself for having one drink, and she blames herself for have a seizure disorder and somehow that contributed to her being more vulnerable. Two weeks ago, her boyfriend's sister finally after 10 months told my daughter about how she was raped by a adult family friend. This 15 year old girl went to my daughter because my daughter was the only person this girl trusted enough to tell that she wanted to report the assault to the police. She had told her mother and her older sister when it happened, and both decided to keep it a secret as to not upset the family.

I feel it's all around me...the grief, the sadness, the violence, the silence. As the mother of a young woman I feel such deep rage and helplessness in helping my sweet girl. I try to help her the best I can, to stay steady and consistent through all her process...through the self destructiveness, the cutting, the suicidal feels, the disassociation, the anger, the dropping out. We know who the perpetrator is. I know his name, where he lives...and he is free to repeat this over and over.

If you got to the end of this, thank you for reading. Heather Marlowe, thank you for speaking up. I am so sorry this happened to you..so so sorry. Hearing you talk just broke open something in me that needed to be broken open and for that I am ever grateful.

Libby

[Paul Gilmartin]

Libby,

First, thank you for your very moving post. I'm so sorry you and your daughter have had to experience such pain.

Second, I sent Heather your post and she said if you'd like to get in touch with her, she would be happy to correspond with you. Let me know. Email me at mentalpod@gmail.com

Paul