The 19 year-old YouTube entertainer commiserates with Paul about OCD, depression, jealousy, naps, love and internet trolls.
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Episode 224: Drew Monson
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SpookyGhost
- Posts: 222
- Joined: January 5th, 2015, 8:19 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Anxiety, self harm, PTSD, childhood sexual abuse, rape, emotional eating
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Episode 224: Drew Monson
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Fargin
- Posts: 223
- Joined: December 28th, 2012, 6:01 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Avoidant Personality Disorder
- Location: Copenhagen
Re: Episode 224: Drew Monson
There's so much I wanted to comment on this show, but I better start it off, with saying how much I loved the show. I thought it was awesome, when Drew talked about high school and then suddenly getting a his age into a tangible context. But it was really the only point, his young age played a part of the show, where otherwise it was just a great conversation between two people.
I was walking at the beach, listening to the podcast, when Drew talked about his OCD and while I was primarily focusing on the podcast, I was still making sure, I didn't step on the cracks in the concrete. As I walked and measured my steps to fix the even concrete, I noticed how ingrained in me it was. Wasn't really anything conscious, just the notion, that it was more neat, orderly and safe not to step on the cracks(what the hell?). I also often have to stop myself from touching every sign, post or railing, that is within arms length in my path.
Then there were the whole jealousy part, which reminded me of what Paul always says about "life passing me by." For me, it was the thought, that other people was participating in life and enjoy it without constant worry, that often put my own avoidant or guarded experience in such stark contrast.
Great show altogether!
I was walking at the beach, listening to the podcast, when Drew talked about his OCD and while I was primarily focusing on the podcast, I was still making sure, I didn't step on the cracks in the concrete. As I walked and measured my steps to fix the even concrete, I noticed how ingrained in me it was. Wasn't really anything conscious, just the notion, that it was more neat, orderly and safe not to step on the cracks(what the hell?). I also often have to stop myself from touching every sign, post or railing, that is within arms length in my path.
Then there were the whole jealousy part, which reminded me of what Paul always says about "life passing me by." For me, it was the thought, that other people was participating in life and enjoy it without constant worry, that often put my own avoidant or guarded experience in such stark contrast.
Great show altogether!
Re: Episode 224: Drew Monson
Great show! Drew seems like a wonderful, funny, creative guy. I cracked up when he said at the end, "this is what it's like to date me, ladies" 
I want to comment about the survey respondent who was a father and mentioned he would give all his worldly possessions to go back and hug his little girl and tell her he loves her. I SO RELATE TO THIS! I had some pretty awful parenting moments when my children were toddlers and elementary age. I have four kids, born 2 years apart and I was a young, immature, overwhelmed, and unprepared mother.
For the most part, I think we all emerged okay given the circumstances (which were all of my own making, btw) but I suffer from A LOT of guilt and shame about specific days and moments where I know that I hurt them. Now that they are older (aged 10 to 16), I'm a much, much, much better parent. Part of that is my own maturity and growth and another part is *their* maturity and growth. 16 year olds can be reasoned with in a way that 4 year olds cannot. Anyway, even though I am (finally) a better-then-average parent, I feel that there is nothing I can do to rectify my horrible failures from my babies' early years. I would also give all of my worldly possessions to go back to certain days and have a do-over. I know I'll live the rest of my life replaying in my mind the moments when I lost control and yelled, when I spanked, when I made a huge deal out of something that in hindsight was a "this too shall pass" moment. I was too hard on my oldest, expected too much. I shamed my middle children over things I should have let go. Sibling bickering sent me over the freakin' edge one too many times.
Anyway, I know what that father meant, even if he now is a good Dad and validates his daughter every day. You can't go back, you can't fix the past, you just get to live with your failures and mentally whip yourself for the rest of your life. It sucks.
I want to comment about the survey respondent who was a father and mentioned he would give all his worldly possessions to go back and hug his little girl and tell her he loves her. I SO RELATE TO THIS! I had some pretty awful parenting moments when my children were toddlers and elementary age. I have four kids, born 2 years apart and I was a young, immature, overwhelmed, and unprepared mother.
For the most part, I think we all emerged okay given the circumstances (which were all of my own making, btw) but I suffer from A LOT of guilt and shame about specific days and moments where I know that I hurt them. Now that they are older (aged 10 to 16), I'm a much, much, much better parent. Part of that is my own maturity and growth and another part is *their* maturity and growth. 16 year olds can be reasoned with in a way that 4 year olds cannot. Anyway, even though I am (finally) a better-then-average parent, I feel that there is nothing I can do to rectify my horrible failures from my babies' early years. I would also give all of my worldly possessions to go back to certain days and have a do-over. I know I'll live the rest of my life replaying in my mind the moments when I lost control and yelled, when I spanked, when I made a huge deal out of something that in hindsight was a "this too shall pass" moment. I was too hard on my oldest, expected too much. I shamed my middle children over things I should have let go. Sibling bickering sent me over the freakin' edge one too many times.
Anyway, I know what that father meant, even if he now is a good Dad and validates his daughter every day. You can't go back, you can't fix the past, you just get to live with your failures and mentally whip yourself for the rest of your life. It sucks.