YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

The 23 year-old shares about hitting an emotional bottom in college after a childhood/adolescence that included cutting, suicidal ideation, peer disconnect, shame, disordered eating, depression and sexual trauma. She talks about how therapy and running have helped her make peace with her past, cope with the present and even find intimacy in a healthy relationship.

http://mentalpod.com/archives/3987

I just wanted to thank Paul for his kind words in regards to reading my survey in this episode. I actually briefly found tears in my eyes for the first time in years and it was very cathartic, at least until my mind's natural defense system of self-loathing kicked back in.

Regarding the episode itself, this is definitely going to go down in my list of favorites, and ones I'd recommend to people who haven't listened before. I feel so sorry Monica has had to endure all those challenges, and simultaneously so inspired by everything she said. I really appreciated both her sense of humor, and honestly. The moment where she outed her abuser and then was at as loss for words beyond that was very powerful and was one of about five or six moments where I actually had to pause the podcast to collect myself before I could continue. I think this is a story which is going to resonate with so many people and I hope that her directness help other people find the strength that she has exhibited. One thing that struck me was when she was talking about the moment which pushed her over the edge to go see a therapist but couldn't even remember what the trigger had been, and the same was true about the cutting. I realized that I can't even remember the moment I started cutting, and how odd it is that something so extreme can be lost to memory.

I also think this will go down as one of my favorite episodes. I just related to her in so many ways. The way she felt disconnected from her peers and her shame about everything. For over a decade, I did exactly as she did in many situations. I would go for help but then downplay my problems out of shame. When you look at your questionnaire and every single answer is the most extreme you're sure they will assume you are lying or just stare at you in disbelief.

And for the first time ever, I heard that someone else gets diarrhea from their anxiety! I commend her for admitting that because I'm barely able to anonymously type it now. And when it is attached to social anxiety, you inevitably will shit (hopefully in a bathroom) with a bunch of people around. Thanks nature for giving us this wonderful physical reaction to stress and anxiety. Monica, you rock, and may there always be a private bathroom nearby when you need one. <3

I totally also get anxiety-related diarrhea. Not fun.