Matt Oswalt

[ArmyOfMe80]

On a board such as this, where people are sensitive, I don't think anyone should be shamed for expressing whatever is on their minds and hearts. Bron was giving his honest opinion of the podcast and the views expressed by the guest in it. That is impersonal.

[roadieric]

Hey Bron;

I totally understand why Matt's off-the-cuff comment regarding the supposed "selfishness" of suicide made you uncomfortable. As a two-time attempt survivor, I felt a very similar discomfort as well.

On the other hand, upon revisiting this episode it occurred to me that Matt was perhaps speaking more from the perspective of his own personal experience, albeit ungracefully, as opposed to casting any judgmental aspersions on others.

My main disappointment in this incident is that Paul didn't have the presence of mind to bring forward a contrasting opinion, as I believe he really does know better by now.

This isn't to say that I expect Paul to become confrontational with his guests, but by the same token I have heard Paul correct other guests who express less-than sensitive opinions about emotionally-charged topics. To not call out insensitive remarks such as the one that Matt made, even in the after-show commentary, demonstrates a certain amount of complacency that allows the ignorance-based stigma wrongfully attached to suicide to continue. My own efforts in the suicide prevention community have taught me the importance of addressing such incidents in the moment.

Much like in comedy, when trying to enlighten others about the facts, timing really IS everything.

As another person who struggles with deep depression on a daily basis, I wish both you and Matt all the best, and definitely will continue to travel with Paul and his guests on this endless journey of enlightenment and recovery.

Rock on from the Windy City.

[ArmyOfMe80]

This isn't to say that I expect Paul to become confrontational with his guests, but by the same token I have heard Paul correct other guests who express less-than sensitive opinions about emotionally-charged topics. To not call out insensitive remarks such as the one that Matt made, even in the after-show commentary, demonstrates a certain amount of complacency that allows the ignorance-based stigma wrongfully attached to suicide to continue. My own efforts in the suicide prevention community have taught me the importance of addressing such incidents in the moment.

I agree.

[Fargin]

What was is Teresa Strasser's dad said? "You're wrong, I'll never be fine. I'll never ever be fine if you go."

[roadieric]

@ Fargin;

Admittedly your response is somewhat unfamiliar to me. Perhaps an episode I missed?

However, in this particular context I can only speak from my own experience when I say that there are far too many depressed & lonely people among us who are completely justified in their belief that absolutely nobody will "miss them if they go".

Combine that abject loneliness with the all-too-common feeling of being a burden on the precious few who may actually care & the viability of relief for the profoundly depressed individual by way of hastening their own demise becomes a bit more understandable.

Please note I did not say acceptable, only understandable.

The grim reality is that it all comes down to perspective. As we say in show-biz, what you see depends on where you sit.

[ArmyOfMe80]

Issue I have with Matt: He is exactly who he complains about.

Let me explain. A pet peeve for him is when celebs who "have it all" post pitiful tweets to try and be funny.

Well...... Matt himself has posted a number of things that reveal stuff about his life....

He lives in a pretty decent Hollywood apartment for bring unemployed and single. He has an impressive vehicle, made his famous brother an impressive custom gift a while back (which Patton bragged about), and has a number of nice random possessions (again, he's posted various pics over the course of months and years) for someone who is unemployed. He travels a lot, by plane. Who pays for that? If it's him, then he is doing better than most unemployed people. If its someone else like his brother, again, still very lucky. And his relationship status is what it is because, well.... Read his Tumblr blog from about a year and a half ago. And in that blog, he was even made a comment about how he is "a gentleman." (Really? Really?? lol)

I'm not saying his pain isn't real. It is. But why is he trying to call out other people? Robin Williams, whom he worked with (again, impressive for an unemployed pitiful guy) had an amazing career, a great marriage...all that stuff. He should know that someone's level of depression has nothing to do with relationship or material status.

Matt's point of view is...interesting. He exactly "that guy" that he speaks of. He seems to expect more compassion and understanding than he is willing to give.

[roadieric]

@Army:

Clearly you've done a lot more "homework" than I have on Mr. Oswalt (He's Patton's brother? Really? News to me.), and to that point I'd certainly offer no argument to your point of view. You also make some very valid remarks about the struggles common to most folks who live with depression.

My perspective is primarily informed by two factors. First off, I have been trying to deal with profound depression myself for several years now, and in retrospect, possibly even since childhood. This circumstance seems to provide me with a higher level of empathy to the emotional pain of others than what one typically encounters on the street. This sensitivity can be both a blessing & a curse, depending on when you ask.

The second aspect that informs my perspective is my ongoing work as a suicide prevention advocate. The details of this work are complicated, so I'm reluctant to share them on a public forum, but suffice it to say that over the years I have gained insights regarding the mindset of deeply depressed individuals that most people, even certified "professionals", just aren't privy to.

With that said, it seems that the best way for me to move forward is to keep a relatively open mind, while at the same time to always keep the sensitivity level of my "bullshit detector" set on high. I suppose that's simply a survival mechanism on my part, which also goes way back to early childhood. Perhaps that's why I enjoy listening to some episodes of Mental Illness Happy Hour a lot more than others.

Sometimes the interaction between Paul & his guests is spot-on (Guy Winch, for example). Other times (no names), not so much.

This may have a lot to do with Paul's frame of mind on the particular day he records these interviews. I'm reasonably confident this variation of quality also has much to do with the possibility of an unspoken subtext on the part of the individual guest, who may (or may not) have their own agenda to pursue within the context of participating in a deeply personal interview.

One concern that continues to vex me is what I perceive as a regrettable lack of interaction that Paul seems to have with the discussions on this forum. Knowing full well that he's a busy guy, I understand he can't always drill into every topic that comes across the board, however there are a lot of conversations going on here that merit more than a cursory two-minute examination in either the pre or post-interview segments of an otherwise fine podcast.

By the same token, it seems that there is at least as much interesting subject matter to be mined here as there is in a lot of the folks he sits across the microphone from. By not maintaining a bit closer observation of his own forum, he may well be missing out on a lot of additional high-quality content for the podcast that can be produced without the constraints of time-sensitivity. Much of this could be "banked" & used as needed, especially during this hectic & high-risk holiday season.

Just sayin'...

[ArmyOfMe80]

Well, as far as the discussions on the podcast, you have to remember, Paul isn't a mental health professional. Plus, his personality is going to mesh with each person's a bit differently. I honestly don't blame him for leaving the forum mostly to the fans. The podcast itself has to be all-consuming. Plus, you have to remember, he has his own menral health issues to deal with daily. This forum is great, but I realized lately I don't want to get overly consumed by it. The issues here are heavy stuff. I realized it's in my own best interest not to come here every single day. Paul likely has a similar outlook. He lives and breathes the podcast, and then to get sucked into the forum? I imagine the tone of his life would get pretty heavy pretty fast.

[snoringdog]

Bumping this up. Good read...