YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Amazing show! (as all have been) As a fan of Jimmy Dore and a listener of the Comedy and Everything Else Podcast, I can honestly say that this is a side of Jimmy not often heard! I had no idea he was into Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra. It made me happy to hear him be more vulnerable than usual. Also surprised me about how he's trying to cut down a bunch on pot.

Paul, about the topic of having children: (oh yes! Just what you want, unsolicited advice from a 20-something!)
There is definitely not a time where you're ever 'ready', nor is there a time where you won't have the possibility of fearing regret on becoming a parent. As a 28 year old with two kids, my decision making for this did not come close to being easy. I'm a musician, and was pretty much ready to tour the country when the question came up. Immediately I thought about myself, go figure.

"Yeah, but I won't get to go out and have fun, be free! What if it's too much for me? What I fuck up this kid(s) life because I'm too selfish and horrible at parenting, especially since I'm young and have my own issues?"

It was a hard decision for me to let go, open up, and decide to have the children. I'm not going to say it was a good or bad decision either! No way am I convincing anyone to have or not to have kids, that's you're own decision! I'll just tell you the positive parts. One is that it humbles me, makes me realize that there is a world outside, not just inside. I have others who depend on me, and I'm responsible for being a good person not just for myself but for others as well. I had to get over my phobia (which I still kinda have) of being a bad parent. "Will they think I was a horrible dad?" is a phrase that often heard inside my head throughout the day. It's more selfish than anything though, and it's telling that I'm focusing WAY too much on the future, and not enough on the present.

Also, the love a child gives you, if you let them, is worth more than all the stars in the sky.

Holy shit, it seriously makes my relationship with my wife difficult though! She can't cope with the concept of asking for help, so her anxiety goes off the wall all the time. She feels she's missing out in life, and I do a lot too. I can't sugarcoat it! We honestly don't have the means to save up enough money for full college tuition for either of the kids. (At least with our current financial situation) And also, as a social creature, it depresses me greatly that I have to sacrifice most of my time and miss out on tons of parties and hangouts with my other 20-something friends because the kids need to be taken care of.

So there you have it. I'm sure anyone else can add to this as well, though I hope you do read this Mr. Gilmartin and I'd love to hear your feedback. Also, great work on this podcast! Again thank you so much for it, because it's honestly the one I look forward to most every week. (keep in mind I pay for seasons of NNF)

oh shit yeah, can't wait to listen to this one!

great episode. that thief musta been wearing clown pants to be able to fit a car stereo in the pockets.

Ether,
Thanks for your great post about kids. Really honest. Really articulate. Much appreciated. And I"m glad you liked the Jimmy Dore episode. I thought he was great as well.


Paul

I listen to the Jimmy Dore Show a lot (it's how I found out about this one, in fact), so I was really looking forward to this one. I wasn't disappointed, except for the fact that the "Fear Off" wasn't in play yet. It might be for the best though, since it probably would have taken the show in a pretty political direction that might have been hard to transition out of.
I think I related more to you in the discussion of having kids. As the son of one parent who wasn't mentally prepared to have kids (he suffered child abuse and PTSD that he still hasn't recovered from), I definitely want to make sure I have my shit together before I fuck up a brand new person. I also took Jimmy's point that no one has likely "figured themselves out" enough to rationally decide they're completely ready for a kid though.
The story about how he met his wife was sweet too. It kind of made me want to start doing comedy just to meet girls (although there aren't really open-mics anymore).

This show was great. Mr. Dore seems to have very similar manifestations of anxiety and depression as I do - chest tightness, isolation, lack of focus. I had my first panic attack last summer and since then I have had to deal with the near constant PHYSICAL manifestations of anxiety. I used to think mental illness was just that - mental - but I now realize that your body's response is probably the most debilitating effect of mental instability. I've been to therapists before...but only been treated for anxiety, although I'm beginning to think that depression is the underlying disorder. Jimmy didn't really explain how he got through his multiple episodes of depression, but I wonder if clinical treatment for depression helped? I have also had to nearly cut out all stimulants including coffee (almost) and have really cut back on drinking alcohol. This has helped a little day-to-day, but I have yet to make drastic changes in my mindset and way of life. I don't smoke much pot, but I sometimes have a craving for it as if it would help calm me down.

Great show, Paul, I have listened to every show and I love it! It's like therapy for me. It's comforting to know that successful people deal with very similar problems.

I like Jimmy, smart and funny. Never knew some of the things about him that was discussed. It was a good show!