Todd Sawyer

[heart]

Wow, That was a great episode.

When Todd Sawyer said 'Don't confuse accepting for understanding' to his mom I broke down. It's the line that I need to tell my parents but never could find enough compassion in myself to feel hurt and the abuse they put me through. I accept that they were broke, I accept that I was unplanned and I accept that I came with mountainous medical bills since the time I was conceived and I accepty that might make them resent me. But I don't understand how you can push a 5 year old down the stairs to basement and then lock the door and leave her there for hours and hours. And he also mentioned how his mother never apologized. How can you expect forgiveness if you haven't admitted you'd done anything wrong. It's just everything I've been dealing with with my parents lately.

I don't know what I really wanted to say, just that I connected so much with the absent father and the overworked mother, the abuse, the trying to look out for yourself at a young age. And this episode really helped me find compassion for myself as a kid which I was never allowed to. I always felt embarrassed like I should really not think that what they did was a big deal and I'm just a pussy. But this episode helped so much. All of us deserve compassion and to feel and express the hurt that we have felt at anytime in out life.

[Boringartist]

Man, I agree so wholeheartedly on this. I was up late insomniac-ing, listening to the podcast (hoping Paul's voice would lull me to sleep). When that line hit, I broke. I started crying and didn't stop for half an hour, then I went and wrote pages and pages about what I was feeling. That unsatisfiable need to somehow understand how a parent can do these things has been so destructive for me. Realizing in that moment that it simply isn't my job to understand, but simply to accept in whatever way I can, was a watershed moment for me.

So, for this and every episode of TMIHO, I thank you, Paul. I've been helped, heartened, and educated in a myriad of beautiful and unexpected ways through these shows.