YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

The actor and podcaster (Who Charted?) returns to the podcast to talk about the struggle to keep a relationship with her mother whose gambling addiction has wreaked havoc on her family’s life. Almost an hour of surveys as well.

Awesome, I love Kulap! I was introduced to her by listening to this show and she has a great personality. Who Charted? is my new favorite podcast. thanks for the heads up!

Fantastic episode, Mrs. Vilaysack is awesome. It is a great 2 hours all around, well 4 for me because I listened to it twice today. Great job!

Miraculous episode! ("It will be a miracle if we get this in under the two hour mark"-> a miracle by a full fifteen seconds!)

The first time I listened to this episode it just hit me so hard (about 3/4 the way through) that I knew I'd have to listen to it again. Just my jaw was hanging open, one of those experiences where you hear people talking about themselves and it seems for the world like they're reading a page from your private diary, or from a computer readout of your own innermost thoughts.

I'm in the middle of the second listen through. I had to hit pause and join the forum. I had to rewind and listen again. On the second listen I started crying softly. On the third I began sobbing. Right around the hour and twenty minute mark, Paul and Kulap talking about tending the sick garden, all the energy that goes into tending it, all the ways it stops you from doing things... because you always have a subroutine running, using up all the processor speed coming up with reasons why everything is your fault. Just the three words: "It's not me!" It's not my fault.

Where on the Forum does that fit? Where should I start the "How to Stop Tending Your Sick Garden" thread?

Yup, this one was great and gave me a sense of hope. It reminded me that sometimes it's the people we are closest to that drive us crazy. And I very much needed that reminder today. I especially liked how she described feeling free after she let her mother go. Totally inspiring.

This episode was so cathartic for me. Thank you so much Paul, for doing this one.

I was listening to this and thinking 'do we have the same mother'? The gambling addiction, the begging for money, the false idea that the mother has that the siblings don't communicate about her bad behavior, the manipulation, 'I don't have gas money to get to work', the mother's explosive anger, 'families help each other out', and feeling guilt for saying no, being forced into a mother role for younger siblings! This is my life, too.

I know that one of my coping mechanisms is minimizing the effect that my mother's bad behavior/gambling addiction has on me. I get mad, then I rationalize that she had a rough life, blah, blah, blah. Rinse, repeat. I know deep down that my mother has a history of treating her children in many inappropriate ways, and her treatment of us has left us each fucked up in a different way. We whisper between ourselves about how much of a relief it will be when she's gone. How we can finally feel like we can breathe, to not be afraid to answer the phone (or the door). Those thoughts make me feel guilty, but they're the truth.