Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM

Growth yes

[Beany Boo]

I feel tired.

It’s starting to be a satisfying tired.

I am trying to reset my boundaries without using too many words. Words are not often specific enough, or needed.

No point in pushing it. Let it be a mystery to me.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Beany

Is it your mental boundaries or physical?

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF

It’s learning to be still.

[Beany Boo]

I had a moment last night. The window was open and I had a chance. All the emotions forbidden to my family system growing up, were suddenly available to me. Resentment, envy, contempt, mortification, indignity, neediness, longing, I let them all come safely to the surface.

I felt light this morning. The world feels quiet and slow. I don’t know how long it will last but I don’t need it to. It’s not easy finding moments. I went into this rest period hoping to arrive here. That is enough.

I am grateful for the trust I put in myself.

[Mental Fairy]

Wow beany that’s quite a compelling statement. I do like moments like that and hope you feel ok.

The moments where you feel like your floating along with no place to be, no person to answer too and no worries is beautiful. How do we get that feeling more often?

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF

Thank you for listening.

[manuel_moe_g]

All the emotions forbidden to my family system growing up, were suddenly available to me. Resentment, envy, contempt, mortification, indignity, neediness, longing, I let them all come safely to the surface.

Wow, Beany, this is intense and impressive

Since my father was the "villain" of the family, that made my mom automatically into the "hero". This caused me to dismiss a lot of bad behavior on my mom's part, bad behavior which damaged me.

Good luck Beany, you are doing amazing work, really admire it.

[Beany Boo]

Thank you MM

[Beany Boo]

I feel a strong urge to ask others for help. The urge is shrouded in trepidation though. It won’t stop me from asking. I’m slightly concerned about my words and timing. I’m also aware it’s not a one time, all or nothing ask. It’s bite-size and on the regular. That’s daunting but exciting.

I think it’s the new stage after, the technique I’ve been using of, ‘getting also slightly excited’ (when initially roused by anxiety).