Mindfulness
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: Mindfulness
I’m feeling quite psychologically safe at the moment.
You would think that way happiness lies.
But my mind usually takes it as, safe to… finally feel the dark feelings openly.
It’s been creaking and groaning with resentment, envy and contempt.
Safe enough to openly feel those unsafe feelings.
You would think that way happiness lies.
But my mind usually takes it as, safe to… finally feel the dark feelings openly.
It’s been creaking and groaning with resentment, envy and contempt.
Safe enough to openly feel those unsafe feelings.
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3412
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: Mindfulness
Feel those feelings, Beany! To do otherwise is to indirectly magnify them
Glad to hear you are in a mentally safe place to explore. You rock, Mister Beany Boo!
Glad to hear you are in a mentally safe place to explore. You rock, Mister Beany Boo!
~~~~~~
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: Mindfulness
Totally agree MM
It feels a lot worse trying to stave them off than to just let them be.
It feels a lot worse trying to stave them off than to just let them be.
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- snoringdog
- Posts: 1594
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mindfulness
"Let go or be dragged" as you've said.
That stuck with me...
That stuck with me...
- snoringdog
- Posts: 1594
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mindfulness
Isn't it strange? I know that same feeling, and it's a physical thing, almost like shame. You just want to avoid and curl up. Haven't had it much recently, but it's a memorable state...Recently i have been struggling with eye contact more than normal. I can't seem to look up when out in public. I look away from people immediately. I don't want to be seen, i just want to complete a task and reclouse back to my cave.
- snoringdog
- Posts: 1594
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mindfulness
That's a great insight!Somehow, in the flotsam and jetsam of evidence of late, I’ve discovered this habitual infantile brutality being elicited and the big change, stopped accepting it as natural
An automatic response identified and accommodated/quelled.
- snoringdog
- Posts: 1594
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mindfulness
I guess I have some kind of wireless connection straight into my brain , since I don't need to check the Internet to darken my worldview. Automatic negative thoughts come all too easily.I’m also struggling to view the world as a bad place (without first checking on the Internet).
But yesterday and today I said to myself "But today I'm taking care of *this* part of the world" when I started into ruminations after news of some events, and it helped.
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: Mindfulness
Thanks SD
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: Mindfulness
So I accepted feeling contempt, envy and resentment for a day. Mid-morning something strange happened.
I suddenly began to see those emotions in the faces and body language of people around me. It also seemed that they were either unaware of it themselves and/or involuntarily in the grip of those emotions.
My reaction to seeing this was unexpected.
I felt a fleeting but profound compassion for those people. I also felt recognition; that they weren’t so different from me after all.
It felt slightly like being on a deck on the ocean, interacting with these people while having this awareness. At one point, I asked a colleague, ‘how are you?’ They replied with the most authentic, assured ‘I don’t know’. I nearly fell over. Their honesty overwhelmed me. I’ve never felt so immediately honored by or proud of someone.
None of my extended family has displayed any capacity to process these deep, difficult emotions so I guess, why should I be any different? But the way people behave around me when I do is more than enough incentive to keep practicing.
I suddenly began to see those emotions in the faces and body language of people around me. It also seemed that they were either unaware of it themselves and/or involuntarily in the grip of those emotions.
My reaction to seeing this was unexpected.
I felt a fleeting but profound compassion for those people. I also felt recognition; that they weren’t so different from me after all.
It felt slightly like being on a deck on the ocean, interacting with these people while having this awareness. At one point, I asked a colleague, ‘how are you?’ They replied with the most authentic, assured ‘I don’t know’. I nearly fell over. Their honesty overwhelmed me. I’ve never felt so immediately honored by or proud of someone.
None of my extended family has displayed any capacity to process these deep, difficult emotions so I guess, why should I be any different? But the way people behave around me when I do is more than enough incentive to keep practicing.
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: Mindfulness
I’m finding it easier to act like myself this holiday. I feel like I’ve got nothing to lose. I feel less like a villain. I feel like people will just accept you how you come. And if they don’t, you protect yourself.
Accepting that shift, I feel a little less lonely in my own company.
I may never be ‘normal’ but I’m not actively pretending to be so anymore. To observe all of that without it being a cynical exercise is a blessed relief.
Accepting that shift, I feel a little less lonely in my own company.
I may never be ‘normal’ but I’m not actively pretending to be so anymore. To observe all of that without it being a cynical exercise is a blessed relief.
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi