Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

That is too bad, Beany, sorry to hear it.

Thank you MM

[Beany Boo]

Beany you are a fabulous teacher. I admire your strength and ability.
Forgiveness Beany, pure forgiveness.

Thank you MF

Aggression is prevalent, especially these days (especially in healthcare!).

Forgiveness carries power.

The meditation seems to have worked. The charge of the shame has dropped and stayed dropped this morning.

So… I face today with curiosity and humility

[Mental Fairy]

Oh I love that.
Still working on this meditation journey. Mantra keeps getting interrupted with other internal mantras from other parts of the brain!

[Beany Boo]

“Resist nothing, grasp for nothing”

“Nothing to be done, nothing to be undone”

“I have time”

“As best I can…”

“Without effort-ing”

Just five suggestions that were given to me.

My favorite meditation is ‘feet kissing the earth’. It’s just as it sounds; walk in silence, perhaps barefoot, perhaps in nature and in your mind imagine your feet are ‘kissing’ the earth with each step. Thich Nhat Hahn wrote a poem about it.

[Mental Fairy]

Extremely beautiful. Thank you. I find it easier to sit with back against the wall on the floor. Worried if I lay down I’ll nod off!

[Beany Boo]

I use a ‘meditation bench’. It allows you to kneel while keeping your spine in natural alignment; this is a relaxed position for easy breathing. Not recommending, just my personal choice. Not an expert!

[Beany Boo]

So today is the day I next see the person who shamed me.

I feel like I’m ready, although, from experience, nothing tends to happen in these situations. I anticipate a confrontation and find the other person was unaffected. My days spent in agony, for nothing…

This time around, I’ve managed my inner turmoil to an athletic degree!

I have gotten to a place where I don’t judge her. She was just being herself and happen to have caught me at a very vulnerable moment. At any other time her goading would have bounced off.

I realize that what’s important to me is that the exchange occurred just before, and caused me to lose focus in myself for about 5 minutes into, a relatively difficult group exercise routine. That is what ultimately felt unsafe; I could have been injured.

Thinking about removing that ‘hazard’ from my path has calmed me down finally.

As the adult child of an alcoholic and this women being an active user, I think the exchange took me back to the past. The sudden realization (in my adult brain) of how quickly ‘occupational health and safety’ flies out the window in an alcoholic home/situation, gave me several days of emotional whiplash.

[snoringdog]

Great insight, BB. Thanks for posting.

[Mental Fairy]

Somewhat jealous my Mazie can do this better than me.

[Beany Boo]

Thank you SD and MF