Mindfulness

[manuel_moe_g]

As long as you are true to yourself, Beany

Cheering you on!

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Beany

When you say it broke can I ask if it was gradual over the day and you felt it lift, or was it lifted after you acknowledged it and burst out by an action or comment that released it?

I ask this because mine has been overpowering me for days and I had to pull the plug on the phone at work as the sound of it made me want to take the phone out to the driveway and drive over it. Again it’s that triggering of sound again. Even changing the ringtone to a different one didn’t help.

What was it that helped lift that feeling?

[Beany Boo]

I used the word broke because I was aware of the similarity to weather. Like drizzle that went on and on. I could get frustrated at the seething and, everyone who crossed my path while it was happening. What would be the point? Or, I could just stand in it and try to be as patient and kind as I could, until it broke.

At one point I said to myself, ‘I am seething because I am alive.’ It didn’t really make sense but it did. Sometimes living on its own, is just deeply frustrating. Thinking the thought didn’t affect the seething. But looking back it was the sign that the weather was shifting.

Put the phone on the road. You don’t have to run over it. I think if you put it in contact with the road, you at least show yourself the depth of what is really happening for you. Then pick it up and go plug it back in.

[Mental Fairy]

Very interesting point.
I was just driving home from helping friend in garden and on the highway back to town I for a brief moment I wanted to not live after seeing a car almost have head on with car in front. It’s a fleeting moment of wishing to be next, yet not committing to it. It’s madness but truth. Even after having such a huge release of anger last night at ice bath thing I still feel it brewing back up.

[snoringdog]

Sometimes living on its own, is just deeply frustrating.

Yes indeed.

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF and SD

[snoringdog]

Oak mentioned that anger is a secondary emotion. (Similar to seething, maybe?)

I've had a few episodes lately due to feeling "put upon" by people (unanticipated requests piling up) or feeling out of control of situations or feeling that something is unjust....

Looked for a thread dedicated to anger on the board but came up blank.

But this article has explanations, some of which I relate to...
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anger

[Beany Boo]

Thanks SD, that’s an excellent article.

It confirmed what I was thinking, which was, that my seething was a good thing.

[Mental Fairy]

Fantastic article SD. Very interesting

[rivergirl]

I’ve survived a series of relationship encounters of late with a number of different people. Some were distancings and some were comings-closer but all were moving around a capacity I’m now aware, I didn’t previously possess.

I know I’ve had enough when,

I feel like I’m verging on having to make a decision about the rest of my future because of some ambiguous sign that just occurred.

And now, I’ve had enough

Excellent progress, Beany!

rg