Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I felt peoples’ kindnesses.

I don’t think I have ever paced myself so much.

There was frustration; it punctuated different stages in the day. But rather than fight, I just accepted it and it remained low level.

A spontaneous new mantra materialized. I started saying to myself, ‘Do less’. Do less moment to moment. Do less in life. Do less and make room for what you do do to be more substantial.

I am happy to follow through.

It’s midafternoon and no disruptions so far so fingers crossed, it’s plain sailing to bedtime.

[manuel_moe_g]

I wish I lived my life letting my inner sweetness shine

I have to remember to give myself grace, not fair to judge my life against my present day disposition

[manuel_moe_g]

Beany, do you read the Tao Te Ching?

[oak]

It’s midafternoon and no disruptions so far so fingers crossed, it’s plain sailing to bedtime.

Nice!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM

I’ve been listening to commentary about it of late. I’m particularly interested in wu-wei, which is like Tao and Grace.

[Beany Boo]

Thanks oak

[Beany Boo]

Woke up well, like, ‘I landed it’.

I remembered ‘do less’ shortly into the day and started applying it immediately to my thinking (as in do less in your thoughts).

I can’t tell what kind of day it’s going to be. I think that’s about right though.

Yesterday finished with some solid PTSD study. I also did some work-related study that was next level. It made the last five weeks of adjusting to the habit worthwhile.

I feel like I might be kind to someone today, but in a way that validates their unique experience of reality. Or them, me. It may happen today or in the next few days. My gut tells me to be carefree about it, which actually makes it more difficult!

I also suspect I am going to start something presently of genuine interest to me. I’m so used to pouring my energy into pandering, acquiescing to and placating others though (in order to ‘stay safe’), I’m actually not sure what ‘genuine interest’ looks like. Maybe that’s the new feeling of fun that’s been lurking without a form.

Anyway, the goal of the day is to do less and in the space in between that that opens up, act with kindliness. In the first instance, by listening…

[Beany Boo]

Midafternoon

Everything is fine.

My thoughts have been ‘doing less’.

I had some kindly exchanges. I noticed myself putting my vocal tone in the kindliest register I could muster each time.

There’s an encounter still to come today that set me off this time last week and made it difficult to sleep. I can’t see myself controlling it any better this time. I can reasonably need less from the situation this time and maybe that will make the difference.

If I just pass through without any investment and able to focus on myself again after, I’ll be satisfied.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up fine

But I didn’t really have it together, which is fine too.

There’s a distinct lack of urgency to be right or in control today.

I think the PTSD study has turned a corner.

I feel like it is going to be an unpredictable day and nothing I do is going to change that.

The goal: Let something positive but out of your control, wander in and out of view. When it is present, take care of it.

[manuel_moe_g]

Kicking ass as per usual, Beany!

So exciting to think of you setting the theme and mood for the day

I have difficulty setting the mood and the theme of the next 4 minutes