SSRI-induced indifference?

[bigeekgirl]

I've been on Zoloft for about six months and have been struggling with motivation - especially at work, but generally as well. I'm finally facing that it could be the meds which I feel rather stupid about since when I took Zoloft in my 20s, I eventually added Wellbutriun due to decreased sex-drive and other motivational issues. I can't take Wellbutriun now even if I wanted since I was on it without Zoloft at 29 and had a psychotic episode.

I'm really scared because my anxiety is *better* and I'm not actively depressed like I was before. The problem is without that, I have no fear either. Some days, I've done jack shit at work and I don't care. For someone who's typically self-medicated with books or television, it's weird to want to just sit and stare off into space.

I don't want the hassle of doctors appointments, referral from primary care to a specialist, playing Russian roulette with side effects for new and changing medications.

Yet, I can't go on like this. So, I'm making the appointment.

Interested to hear about anyone else's experience with similar.

[Not Ready Yet]

"I don't want the hassle of doctors appointments, referral from primary care to a specialist, playing Russian roulette with side effects for new and changing medications."

Wow, yes. Been there several times. I loathe shuffling my schedule around to accommodate appointments and sitting in waiting rooms. And all of that is before side effects kick in. (Long sigh.)

Yet, I can't go on like this. So, I'm making the appointment."

Been here too. I've stupidly taken myself off of anti-depressants out of sheer stubbornness, somehow convinced they weren't really doing much for me anymore, and I didn't need them. (Wrong.)

Yeah, I've felt not depressed but without the drive to accomplish anything... and sometimes I've wondered to myself, "Maybe this is what normal actually is." Because before that I was always way too wound up about getting things done.

Sorry, I don't have any answers for you.

[bigeekgirl]

Thanks, Not Ready Yet.

I wrote a response but my log in timed out because it took so long. Jesus. That's the problem exactly.

I made an appointment for Monday.

[manuel_moe_g]

bigeekgirl, please take care. I think I understand what you are saying about motivation. We are cheering for you, you contribute so much to the forum.

[bigeekgirl]

manuel_moe_g! So nice to hear from you. Thanks. I am inconsistent with the forums, for sure, but so thankful for everyone who participates.
Another day literally not doing my job. There's some mitigating circumstances as to why doing my job right now is not terribly useful for the time being until certain factors change, but it's still objectively not cool.
I did make an appointment for my car (probably needs an aliment) which is a major thing for me. I'll be going to my support group tonight. I'll be back at work tomorrow. Keep putting one foot in front of the other best I can even if it's at the last possible second before I fall over.

Ha. Remembered to copy the text before I hit submit!

[brownblob]

I hope the appointment goes well. Dealing with mental health issues is frustrating.

[bigeekgirl]

Thanks, brownblob.
I went to my appointment, but my insurance information changed (same employer, same insurance) so I had to reschedule. Now, a good chunk of that responsibility falls on me for not having the new card with me, possibly got thrown away in the mail or just in a pile somewhere.
What I've taken to calling my "aggressive apathy" is fighting me on every step.

[Not Ready Yet]

Mind if I borrow the phrase "aggressive apathy?"

It's time to go fight the pile of mail I haven't opened. Ugh.

[bigeekgirl]

Not Ready Yet - Absolutely! Mail is the devil. One of the few ongoing dilemmas in my marriage is handling mail. I'm a go through and throw away and my husband is leave little piles around for years. Ugh!