Intro # 2

[girlonthe3rdfloor]

Okey ..now its time to give actual example why its hard to go on a first date and even have the most basic conversation .. this is what it will actually go;
Date; what is your name?
Me; Nadereh!
Date; How do you say it.. its rather unusual .. do you have anything for short!!!!
Me; (in my head) ..pls don't ask where is it from ... and pls pls don't make comment about my country just yet!!!
Date; oh IRAN ..yes! I went to college with som guy .. I think he was from Pakistan though ..
Me; (in my head) Pls don't say anything else about this just yet ..
Date; Are you happy to be in America .. I hear women are very oppressed in IRAN
Me; (in my head) .. I will not address any thing as respond because the date will end ..even though I like to name All the statistic on violence against woman, and all other issues such as sexualizing female as marketing tool ..and our obsession with cosmetic ..etc (I am sure we don't feel oppressed here at all!!!!)
Date; Have you been married before? of course this is a basic natural thing to ask on a date
Me; Yes (in my head pls don't ask what happened just yet; My husband was a political prisoner in IRAN and was capture the executed at age 28 while I was 6 months pregnant)
Date; Do you have any kids ???
Me; Yes .. he live in Europe at the moment (In my head; pls don't ask detail yet .. My child was abducted by my husband family and back to Iran where I had no legal right and could not even go back .. took me yeeeeaaaarrrs to find him .. and the story goes on and on ..
Date; You have Tattoos are they real ..
Me; Yes .. In my head; don't ask what it means .. just yet; family member I lost tragically !!!! in Arabic ..
Date; what was you past relationship like ??
Me; Can I have more wine pls ????

So do you get my point .. if I say anything it will suck the romance out of first date and turn it to god knows what .. and frankly ..I don't want to overtime go over these staff .. but avoiding it also feel like the other person have no clue who is sitting across table from them .. Specially when you put make up on and try to look sexy and all with those kind of story .. the whole things become dark comic .. and the expression or lack of words (rightfully so ..) from the other person who was not prepare for such a thing make it all wired .. and I can't help and find it so funny .. that I often laugh alot .. and that even make me look a little crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now you see what I mean ..by having a safe place ??? Can you imagine with candle and wine .. in a suggested romantic place ..sharing war story .. with your date!!!!!!!!!!!

[floatawaythepain]

You're beautiful and don't you forget it!

I agree. I made a post but none of the men out there have responded we are looking for dates guys!

[bigeekgirl]

Dating advice always seems to say not to talk about your personal struggles and history but I found my husband and I did a good job of mutually laying it on the table on our first date. It let me know what he was made of. And, believe me, we each had some weird baggage. Anyway, it's late and I'm mixing my metaphors.

[Eljefetacoma]

Nadereh! Youre awesome! I would love to read updates from you about all the bad dates you go on! Then we could do after action reports on them and give you pointers, or just laugh at your misfortune, lol. I love your fire and your commitment to justice. I'm sure you'll find someone awesome real soon.

Go fuck yourself!