YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello. I am in my early 30's from a rural part of New England, US. I deal with body issues, depression, and anxiety. They are under control so I am a "functional" part of society, but feel like they will prevent me from every really find someone. My blow up doll is a good listener, but she over reacts and looks surprised no matter what I tell her. She also isn't very warm while cuddling.(Sorry I have a sick sense of humor.) It would be nice to have an actual person to talk to. I hate personal ads that want a tall, dark, and handsome guy that has everything figured out already. Not that they aren't out there, but I doubt they are searching CL for a future wife. I don't like the act of dating where everyone pretends they are perfect. I'm a good listener and would like it if the woman I was with felt comfortable enough to tell me her deep dark secrets without the fear of judgment and I could do the same. Or we could both pretend like we never fart and develop designational problems. I am a cist gendered heterosexual male, but open minded in terms of kink. I doubt this post will lead to any encounter where that would matter, but just in case. I think it takes a lot of emotional intimacy for a healthy physical one, and I crave the emotional one more so right now.

Hello. I found your post entertaining and relatable. Getting past the pretending and just getting down to an honest conversation would be nice.

I am glad you enjoyed my post. I know my humor can be hit or miss. The best "relationship" I had was an email exchange with a woman my age I contacted through the platonic friend section of CL. Maybe it helped that she was married and I knew that there was no chance with her, but I was able to tell her some of my fantasies that are somewhat taboo. I thought she might get scared off, but she just thought I was an interesting person and liked talking with me. None of my fantasies go so far as to be illegal, but definitely, taboo so I can feel some shame about them. I liked that I could be real vulnerable with her and she didn't respond negatively. She was someone I would definitely want to date, possibly marry eventually if she wasn't already taken. And I never saw a picture of her, so it was not a physical attraction at all. Now that probably isn't possible on a first date, but I think the sooner people dating can feel that way the better. Unless of course they aren't compatible and they would never feel that way together, which is better to find out sooner rather than later.