YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

So I take 75mg of Effexor XR, and it works really well for me. Prior to going on it I tried a lot of others, prozac, wellbutrin, lexapro, ect. All of them gave me unbearable side effects.
But my shitty psychiatrist at the time failed to tell me anything about Effexor when she put me on it. She didn't tell me for example that it's really really hard to go off of- the withdraw symptoms are notoriously painful. Just google "Effexor brain zaps" and you can read the horror stories.
It's not like I have any desire to go off my meds. I've accepted that I'll be on them probably for the rest of my life, since it's the only drug that works for me and without meds I get suicidally depressed.
But the psychiatrist ALSO didn't tell me that Effexor causes birth defects if you take it while pregnant. To me, finding this out from the internet a year later was really shocking. It pretty much means I can never have children. I can't go off my meds, even if I wanted to the withdrawal would be too hard and I know I would get depressed again. And staying on meds through a pregnancy would mean a deformed or mentally disabled baby.

Now it's not like I want to get pregnant right now. I'm only eighteen. I don't even necessarily want kids ever, and like a lot of eighteen year old girls I always assumed I either wouldn't have kids or would adopt some from foster care.
But knowing that I can't have biological children... ever? It makes me feel pretty bad. So does knowing if I had an accidental pregnancy my only option would be abortion. Not to mention I'm angry that no one warned me ahead of time- that we didn't try other options before settling for a drug with such severe withdrawal symptoms.
It's still worth it to have my mental health, but this having this knowledge in the back of my mind is pretty sad.

I send you a hug.

That sucks that they did not inform you.

While I am not in the same exact situation as you, I have realized that very likely carry a recessive gene (that bypassed me), that would very likely have my potential children have a chronic disease. I am facing a life without children.

So I don't know what to say, other than: you are not alone. Hugs.

Hi Luna:

Don't despair. I totally disagree with the situation that you can't have biological kids because you're on Effexor right now.

1. You're only 18 - you have lots of time left to have kids.
2. You're not going to stay on Effexor forever. You shouldn't want to stay on it forever. I was on it for several years, and for me it also worked better than Lexapro, Prozac, etc. But eventually it didn't work as well and I had to increase the dosage. By the time I was done I was on 300 mg/day and then adding other medications to treat the side effects caused by that dose of Effexor. After a while of that (and still not feeling all better), I decided to go off it.
3. The brain zaps are bad, but don't be overly scared of the withdrawal. It's not much worse than the feeling you get if you miss or are late for a dose. I think I went down from 300/day to 150 a day for a week, then to 75/day for a week, then off completely. It was worse than going off of other antidepressants but I don't remember it being all that bad.

Don't be so scared of what will happen if you go off your meds that you let that fear overrule a really good reason that you have to go off them - whether it's wanting to have a child, wanting to know if your coping skills have improved to the point that you can manage without meds, etc. Something like Effexor can really be a godsend if it helps, but it's not a cure. In the best situation, it can help you take the edge off long enough to work on yourself and learn how to manage things better. Things will get better and you will feel better - maybe thinking about a future where you have gotten to the point where you can manage without meds and at that point you are able to become a mother is something that can inspire you to push forward so you can conquer your depression. It will be a long journey and take time, but you've got your whole adult life ahead of you. I wish I had started my journey out of depression and anxiety at your age instead of my early 30s - I wouldn't feel like I had wasted the best years of my life as a miserable person. Best wishes.

Luna: Check out this link. Perhaps you can find an integrative psychiatrist in your area.

http://cassmd.com/pdfs_folder/ReclaimYourBrain2.pdf

I was on Effexor XR until about the 3rd month of pregnancy. My psych weaned me off and on to Zoloft which is fine for pregnancy. I did great on the Zoloft then had horrible PPD. Went back on Effexor about 4 months PP. The major issue is withdrawal for the babies, not birth defects. All of my kids were very healthy.