Trichotillomania

[kitkat]

She sounds like a good therapist. And it's always so rewarding to take something from therapy and apply it in real life and get that, "oh, this works and I can do this," feeling. I'm glad it's working for you! Mindfulness has been super helpful for me, I think because it's like bringing something logical to a confusing situation. Deconstructing what your feeling when and where these feelings are coming from can be really eye opening. It helps slow down those black and white thoughts, you know?

And about that feeling, it's exactly that! It's like an urgency. I was doing it today and I get this almost frustrated feeling if I can't get all the dry skin off. Today there was some offensive skin under my thumb nail and I got very irritated I couldn't get to it. Eventually I pulled enough and got it, but then my thumb bled a bit and it hurt for a while after and I was thinking, "why did I even do that?" I never analyzed it in the way that you are with your hair pulling, I just think of it like a weird tick I have? And I also do it without thinking, where I will just find myself doing it, or I will be doing it unconsciously and my boyfriend will poke me and point it out. We both do it and try to stop the other person when we catch them, but it's a hard habit to break!

It sounds like you're making great progress tho, so keep it up an good luck!

[Lucia]

I have a sibling with both OCD and Trichotillomania (lucky kid). According to therapists they are two different things.
It's taken years of intensive therapy to see improvements and he still has the urge to pick/pull on a very regular basis. Some strategies for dealing with it include wearing gloves in the house to make picking a lot more difficult, having a strict time limit on the bathroom (where the picking and other behaviors tend to happen), never closing the bathroom door, and being accountable to another person when he does want to pick. He's been on and off different medications, too, but I'm not sure what those were meant to treat.

[Geoff]

Okayyy...

Shaved my head today. I know it's at best not ideal for Trich, but the last few days have been driving me up the wall. I had short/bald patches at the front of my scalp, longer hair at the back. The longer hair made me want to get a haircut. Shorter hair made me incredibly self-conscious about everything. So in the end, last night I just said "fuck it." And this morning I took some electrical clipper/shaver/thing to it. It's not like it'll never grow back. And it's not like I don't have other hair to pull. So there's that.

And I don't look half-bad with a shaven head. That has to count for something.

[Geoff]

Also! This week is apparently Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB) Awareness Week, from October 1-7. That includes hair-pulling, skin-picking, nail-biting, what-have-you. So that's a fun fact. I think trich.org has a thing or two about it...

[kitkat]

It's amazing how many awareness weeks there are for everything!

As for shaving your head, this is just my opinion, but I totally think that makes sense! Stops you for picking and keeps everything the same length. And there is something so satisfying about just cutting all your hair off. Everything is so much lighter. So good on you!

[Geoff]

Yeah, I'm somewhat leery of the "awareness week" craze that's sweeping the world, but I guess I feel like this one's somewhat worth it because the subject is so unknown in public.

The problem with Trichsters shaving their heads is that, when/if the hair is allowed to grow back, I've heard the urge to pull gets worse. Regardless, what's done is done, and the hair pulling was causing me about as much stress as the last time I was unable to pull. So...yeah. For now it's good.

One interesting thing I've noticed so far today: when I feel the "itch" or bring my hand up to my head, it's much easier to ignore that anxiety than before shaving, or even the last time I had a haircut that was just too short. I think that, with shorter hair, what was stressing me out was that I had hair, but it wasn't long enough to pull, so the subconscious thought was "I should be able to do this, but I can't." Now there's virtually nothing to get any sort of hold on, so there's less anxiety, as that thought doesn't apply. I hope this makes sense.

Oh, and edit: I very much agree about the satisfaction of just shaving everything off. I was practically euphoric afterwards. Now I just need to wear hats, so I don't get a scalp sunburn...hmm...

[oak]

Come to think of it, both MTV's "True Life" and AE's "Obsessed" had people with this.

I remember the one woman on Obsessed shaved her hair, and found a lot of healing.

If I may kindly offer another perspective? One that very well may be wrong?

Take what I am about to offer with a big ass grain of salt: I am not a psychologist, and I have plenty of problems myself. I will also use "I" statements, since I can only speak for myself.

Perhaps the question is not about hair, or pulling, or where one's hand is.

Perhaps, and I may be wrong, any unwanted behavior I routinely engage in is a signal that my unconscious is trying to get me an important signal, and using a behavior as a way to get my attention.

Again, feel free to take or leave

[kitkat]

That's an interesting thought! Maybe it has something to do with an inability to keep still or always having to be doing something with your hands? I really would love to know the psychology behind it, hmmmm.

[Geoff]

That's an interesting thought, Oak. I'll think over that.

As to not being able to keep one's hands still: Actually, one of the "tools" that many people with Trich will use is called a "Tangle," which is basically a series of segmented plastic that the person is free to fiddle with. Many say that it works quite well, and the official Trich website has several different versions for sale. I haven't gotten one myself yet, but I'm getting a check sooner or later, and that's on my list. Just to see how it works for me.

Interestingly, today I have barely pulled any hair. I thought I would pull more often from legs/arms/pubic region, but so far there's been none of that--although, typing that is triggering me a bit...but anyway, I've noticed a few stray hairs around my head that I've immediately pulled out, and had several urges to pull from my head that I've more or less dealt with by rubbing/scratching at my scalp. Overall it's been surprisingly manageable.

[serious_oregon]

Howdy, lads and lasses.

I've had this disorder since I was in the primary school. I did suffer from sexual abuse and I am pretty sure this was a coping mechanism for me. I have a school picture of me from the 1st grade with absolutely no eyelashes. It's scary to see that picture because it is triggering. The thing that really sucked is my parents were clueless as to why I was doing it. They never asked me to explain (in my recollection), not that I would have known. They took me to our small town doctor. He sternly told me to quit pulling my eyelashes or they would never grow back and how would I like that? Thanks, sir. Great job there. The adults in my life really seemed to fail me when I needed the extra care.

Weird thing for me (and maybe some of you?) is that I will wake myself up pulling my eyelashes out! When I'm conscious, I have control over it. I haven't 'over pulled' since I was quite young. It is interesting that it is something that I still automatically go to when ever I am feeling stressed. I have pulled from my pubic region, as well. Trich is something that I will do subconsciously a lot of the time. I'll realize I am in the act of it and stop myself. I agree there is a rewarding feeling you get from it, but I don't know that in my case it is pain.

It's nice to hear/read you all talk about it so openly. When I was a kid, it was very shame worthy. I still don't quite know when I started (it almost seems like it was pre-molestation, but that doesn't make much sense), but the fact that I am 44 and I still do it so automatically is a wonder. It's the same with counting stairs and things like the coils of a vacuum cord or extension cord.