YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi. I am addicted to watching porn. But my family members are not aware of it. I belong to a reputed catholic family and it is considered as a sin. Sometimes I feel very guilty and I want to get rid of this nasty addiction but I couldn’t. My parents want me to get married soon and I feel very uncomfortable. What will my fiancee think if he comes to know about my addiction? I have discussed these stuff with my close friend and she suggested a sex addiction treatment program in Calgary ( http://www.canadadrugrehab.ca/ ). Anyone here has any previous experiences? Do you have any other better suggestions?

Anyone here has any previous experiences? Do you have any other better suggestions?

Definitely have experiences, definitely don't have any "better" suggestions. However, I absolutely agree that you should take it seriously and seek help with it. One of the things about addictions of all kinds is that they're progressive and will almost always become legal problems if left untreated for too long. Soon after I got separated from my now ex-wife, I started attending SLAA meetings (which I believe Paul has mentioned on the podcast at least once or twice) and found them extremely helpful.

A lot of the help came from simply being able to walk into a room with other people, say something like "I can't stop looking at porn and I feel like it's ruining my life," and have someone else say "yeah, I know how you feel." I've always found that one of the most awful aspects of a sexual addiction is the shame that comes with it. That shame makes healing from it ten times harder than it already is.

What I can say without doubt, though, is that you cannot keep an addiction a secret forever. If you want to have a real relationship with a partner, you're going to have to get help with it eventually. Might as well do it now, before it gets any worse.

A support group is a fine place to start. I'm in a program for a different issue, but can't begin to explain how powerful it is to go to that room once a week with people who get me. It's free, it's confidential, there's no commitment.
Good luck, my friend.