Thumb Sucking

[shoebei]

I have been thumb sucking my entire life, 50+ years. I learned to conceal it when I entered grade school, and since then I have kept it secret. It has always been manageable, ie just something comforting when alone, or sleeping; and I've always thought of it as another coping mechanism, like smoking, mints, emotional eating etc.
However, it turns out that I have had obstructive sleep apnea for most of my adult life, and started using a CPAP device four years ago. CPAP does not tolerate thumb sucking at all, and I spent two years learning to keep the CPAP on my face. I would wake up in the morning with the mask hung on the bedpost, CPAP turned off, and my hand in my face. I could see that the machine was used for two hours at most. The nights it stayed on longer, I would wake up exhausted, even more depressed, and angry. I started waking from nightmares I could not remember. And daytime thumb sucking became more important to me. I started seeking out private time during the day, and even avoiding others completely so I could indulge my habit. CPAP seems maybe to have helped reduce my hayfever, but little else. I am more successful now, using it 6+ hours most nights; but now I also meditate, and have discussed the emotional side of all this with my therapist at length. But I am still waiting for noticeable CPAP benefits, other than sleeping quietly.
But I guess my point is that I now understand that neglect and early childhood experiences are connected not only with my thumb sucking habit, but that my CPAP therapy triggers a trauma response of its own, beyond simply depriving me of self-comfort via oral fixation of any kind. I guess I should be grateful that CPAP was the catalyst for helping me realize the extent of my early childhood abuse, but I'm not there yet.
I am still very protective of my habit, and it can feel very shameful when considered in any kind of social context. But as long as I keep it to myself, it is a very effective and convenient comfort. Once my dentist made a casual remark, noticing the shift in my teeth, but didn't elaborate. Ditto an acupuncturist who noticed my thumbs didn't match. And I'm sure it's contributing to some neck/alignment issues too. But it seems like a small price to pay, and I have quit drinking, smoking, junk food etc. so I'm feeling ahead of the game in that way most days...

[OrallyFixated]

Im a 33 year old male and i still suck my thumb. i dont do it publicly because of the social stigma attached to it, but when im alone or its dark outside while im driving, its game on xD it helps me to clear my mind, it helps me relax, its very soothing and i like to think of it as my happy place. i have adhd and i struggle to fall asleep, but thumbsucking definitely helps me to fall asleep.

ive had two embarrassing moments where someone has noticed the tell tale signs from doing it, but ive not actually been caught doing since about 12 years old. the first time, a coworker that i never really hung out or talked with came up to me one day and asked if i sucked my thumb. i froze in my tracks and went pale lol. i only have three tell tales signs of it, my overbite and the how my teeth have adjusted in a V shape on my lower two teeth and ^ shape for my upper two teeth. the upper teeth, when i smile, dont appear to be there because theyve been shoved so far up from all the years of doing it. i think my coworker noticed the v and ^ shape in my teeth. i denied it of course, but i know he didnt believe me lol.... the second time was when i went to a new dentist and they took xrays of my teeth. when they went to pull one of my teeth, the assistant kept patting my on the shoulder and started talking kind of babyish to me.....saying things like, "okay, youre going to feel an icky pinch now. its okay, youre doing good." they never hinted at my thumb sucking, but dentists know the tell tale signs, theres no fooling them on that one. embarrassing, but im never going to give up thumb sucking, not for you or anybody else. theres no harm in it.